A Practical Balance
by Pathatlon
Summary: Not so short ficlet about how Mary realises that love is a futile thing and money goes a long way. A young man in the DestinedToMarrySomeRichGirl situation is in dire need of a way out. Can love transpire?
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything from these books, except made up chars should there be any. I make no profit either.**

**I am venturing into the 1800th hundred and hope I will survive...**

**Anyway, should there be anyone thinking "Hey, I want to be her beta" please let me know :)**

**Also, my reason to writing about Mary is quite simpel. She's not like her sisters. She'd alone and different. I wish a happy ending for her.**

**1st chapter contains little action as I am trying to give an impression of how things are, it will come in the future chapters.**

**I usually write Harry Potter fanfiction, you're most welcome to read them also. **

**Enjoy**

* * *

Mary Bennet was not handsome like her sisters. Jane was always considered the most beautiful of the five sisters with her long blond hair and blue eyes and noted by all to be gentle and caring. Elizabeth had her beautiful brown hair and brown eyes, and where Jane was caring and gentle Elizabeth was intelligent and daring and possessed a keen intellect. 

Then there was Kitty and Lydia. Lydia was by far the wildest girl ever to behold. But she, too, had her beauty. She had her blond curly hair and always chipper mood. Kitty was just the same, just with dark hair!

And then there was Mary. Mary were the older than Kitty and Lydia, but younger than Jane and Elizabeth. She did not have curly hair like the rest of her beloved sisters. Her hair was plain and flat and where her sisters reached the colours of rich brown or golden blond hers was black and boring. Her eyes, too, were black and her clothes were usually the same.

But looks had never bothered her a great deal. She had never felt the need to impress anyone, except when it came to her skill at a piano-forte, which she generously prided herself with being good at. And Jane and Elizabeth had each other to confide in just as Lydia and Kitty had each other as well Mary was usually left alone to content herself with books. She did not mind, for she could not understand the talks of officers or the intern intimacy between Jane and Lizzie.

It had been like that for so many years that in the end it seemed, upon looking at the family, that there were only four girls and not five!

However, ignoring Mary was not so easy anymore. Jane had married Mr. Bingley, a pretty sort of gentleman. Just as Jane had Lizzie married too. It was with Mr. Bingley's best friend, Mr. Darcy, who, at first sight, seemed uncommonly proud and stiff.

Lydia, of course, had married before all else. She had eloped with Mr. Wickham, a man who Mary did not like much, for he did not seem honest. Also, there were a certain apprehension between the eldest couple and the before mentioned man. Mary had heard whispers, but Lydia, of course, was as always oblivious to it all.

And so there were only two left: Kitty and Mary. And though it was hard to ignore Mary now Mr. and Mrs. Bennet did do well nevertheless. For Kitty was as gossipy as Mrs. Bennet and the pair had found great comfort in each other, whereas Mr. Bennet only favoured Jane for her gentleness and Lizzie for her intelligence and Mary was overlooked; despite her being just as, or even slightly more, philosophical, reasonable and clever as Lizzie. For Lizzie rarely read anything of intelligence, she had merely a reasonable side that had affected Mr. Bennet early in her years and had lasted so on.

In her own chamber, which she had gotten because Kitty wished to move to a _lighter _room, Mary often let her fingers slide over the elegant piano-forte, which her mother had so graciously put in her room.

"_Mary! Mary! I cannot be calm when you are making such noise! Will you not think of my poor nerves! Mr. Bennet! Mr. Bennet we must put the piano into Mary's room! She is the only one who plays on it anyway! And my nerves! Her music is so cruel to my poor nerves!"_

And so, generously, the piano was moved to Mary's room, where she could play to herself undisturbed. And although, somewhere deep inside, it hurt knowing that no one of her acquaintances appreciated her music, she did not wither and let her pride be broken. _They _did not know how to appreciate real music!

As winter was drawing nearer Mrs. Bennet's joy was increasing. Much to everyone's delight. Usually her mood was always dull and sad in the winter and she always complained of how she longed for the sun and the happiness in brought with it.

But this winter was different. Mr. and Mrs. Darcy had extended invitations to the whole family to come and stay in London through the winter. Mrs. Bennet was looking so much forward to seeing the Darcy London house, for where she had already imprinted all details of Pemperley, and given the information proudly on to all she knew, she had yet to see the London estate.

"Mary! Mary have you seen my bonnet? The light green one?" Kitty asked as she barged into Mary's bedroom. Mary looked up slightly impatiently.

"It is not _here_!" She said, "Why should it be here? You're never in here and I'd certainly have no use for-"

"Oh be quiet! I must find it!" And Kitty ran off again, imitating the busyness of Mrs. Bennet. Mary sighed and laid her book into her trunk.

"Your father requests that you come down if you're done packing, Miss," Hill spoke from the doorway and startled Mary slightly. Mary replied politely and moved downwards. As much as she was looking forward to seeing London she was not looking forward to spending hours in a small carriage with Kitty. Always when Kitty was bored she'd nag on Mary in hopes of entertainment. Although Mary would not mind a pleasant intelligent conversation with her sisters she knew she could not get such from Kitty and she was also aware that Kitty just needed someone to make her laugh. Mary was not a person to degrade herself to be a joker.

The trip for London was as expected. Kitty tried to coach Mary into gossip or talk of other silly things, but Mary preferred a book and so Mrs. Bennet, although quiet willing, entered eager conversations of the approaching future stay at the Darcy Estate. Topics as balls, men, men in redcoats and balls and men were often discussed, but Mary forced herself to think of other things. Few times had she tried to start a conversation with her father, but he made no attempt to continue it.

* * *

The house was grand and Mary immediately felt like she could disappear from the rest of the party. Something, which she only would admit to herself, was quite preferable. 

She leaned against the wall and closed her eyes; her eyes picking up sounds. But there were none. The Darcy Estate was big enough for all sounds to drown within and she had no fears of having to listen to the other's voices.

She did not mean to be rude, not at all! But she did need her space, and travelling with her entire family for hours had drained her completely and pressed on her personal space. Kitty, who was only half as bad as Lydia, could still mentally exhaust everyone around her with her silliness. While her father had the opportunity to sleep or read, or generally closed his ears for all silliness around him – he had been good at that since he married – Mary, however, was not as talented, especially not when Kitty sat beside her, pushing her and teasing her.

And then they reached the house. Oh lord how Mary had never seen anything more agreeable. And she had not even looked at the house properly, but it was the thought of getting away that impressed her.

She had been polite upon greeting Mr and Mrs Darcy. Mr. Darcy seemed as proud as ever, but knowing Lizzie to be sensible and never to marry a man evil Mary was forced to let go of any evil ideas and reconsider him entirely.

Mrs. Darcy was still the same Lizzie as always, although, Mary noted, slightly more humble.

"Please, do come in," Lizzie had asked and led the way inside. The Bingleys had already arrived and Mary stayed to greet all before she informed that she was exhausted and had to lie down.

"Exhausted?! Whatever for? What have you done? You have done nothing at all, you never do anything. Exhausted! How silly!" Mrs. Bennet had exclaimed, but Lizzie seemed more overbearing and let Mary go to her new room while staying at the Darcy's through the winter.

And so Mary had gone to her room to find comfort and peace and had been pleased to realise that all sounds were blocked and she could be, for once in her life, undisturbed.

Where Mary was not one to take naps she needed it dearly and soon sleep took over her.

**

* * *

So much for 1st chapter :) Please review.**


	2. trip to london

**You might feel that I am approaching events faster instead of building the story slower and such. But the thing is, I have no intention of making this story into 30 chapters, or perhaps even 15, and as such is will be necessary to quit unnecessary things. The point of the story is what will happen in the end of this chapter and the following chapters. Not other people, so I see no reason to turn it into something dreadfully long.**

**If that makes sense? I suppose it will in time, but for now, have fun :)**

**

* * *

****CHAPTER 2 – trip to London**

A maid woke Mary from her peaceful slumber announcing that dinner was ready. Mary, who had fallen asleep in her clothes, took her time making the wrinkles go away while worrying if she was well enough for dinner. Surely it would be impolite not to come down, so she dared not.

Upon entering the large dining room Mary found it completely silent despite that the occupants were usually loud. For a moment she considered it might be due to her, but as everyone was looking towards Lydia and another young woman, whom Mary suspected was Miss Darcy, she let the thought forego.

"Oh lord! You look quite unwell!" Lydia declared, which Mary had to agree with, for the young Miss Darcy looked indeed ill.

"Oh Lydia, shush!" A flustered Lizzie spoke, surprising her family, for she was rarely one to loose temper. "Not all of us like officers!" And so the conversation drifted on. Lydia soon found interest in Kitty, who seemed eager to know of the private details of marriage. Mr. Wickham was not joining the party through the winter, for, according to Lydia, something urgent had suddenly come up. Quite frankly most people seemed pleased with that solution and Mary wondered, for not the first time, why she knew nothing of what went on in her family.

Briefly Mary noted that Lizzie had taken Miss Darcy to the side and explained and comforted the young lady. Why Miss Darcy should be so anxious as to hearing about officers she did not know, but the lady probably had an ill constitution.

The dinner was magnificent. There were positively all of Mary's delights. Although Mary could indulge in sweets once in a while she much rather preferred a good creation of healthy food.

As they made ready for the first course Mrs. Bennet's high pitched voice complained, "Where is Mary? She's done nothing at all; I cannot see why she should go rest. All she does is-"

"I am here, mama!" Mary's soft voice spoke from beside Kitty. Mrs. Bennet took a quick look at her daughter and had the grace to look out of sorts before turning away to start a conversation with her youngest. Mary looked up and noted Mr. Darcy look at her. He inclined his head politely towards her, a gesture to signify that he knew she was there, and then went back to his dinner and conversation with Mr. Bennet.

"I have not had the pleasure of meeting you, Miss Bennet!" Miss Darcy spoke and Mary blushed lightly when attention was upon her. "You must be Mary Bennet?"

"Yes, and you must be Miss Darcy?" Miss Darcy nodded and smiled warmly. Mary longed to keep the conversation going. She did not want to be in the shadows.

"Yes, Georgiana Darcy," She informed politely and then her attention was taken by Lydia.

The night wore on and upon talking more with Miss Darcy Mary realised that the young woman was somewhat like herself. Shy and not very loud in the company of others. The two spent a little time talking together, Lydia interrupting now and then to draw attention to herself.

"Please, call me Georgiana," Georgiana asked Mary upon walking together towards the sleeping quarters. Mary looked surprised, for she had never really been asked to do so by others.

Slightly stumbling over the words Mary said, "Please call me Mary," and then hurried to the confinements of her own room. The young Miss Georgiana had been pleasant as pleasant could be, but Mary went to bed feeling oddly anxious about the morrow. She was not sure what it meant to be on first terms with another person, besides her family. Did Miss Georgiana expect something from her?

The morning went quite well. Mary realised that nothing much was expected from the title change to personal and thus felt silly for not knowing, but at the same time she reasoned that she had never had an opportunity to learn.

"Today, girls, we're going out! We're invited to a ball! It will be scandalous if you're not wearing new dresses!" Mrs. Bennet informed ecstatically. Kitty and Lydia seemed beyond ecstatic about the prospect of balls in upper class society. Or was it due to new dresses? Nevertheless the women soon left the estate to move through the streets.

"Mary, there will be something for you too," Lizzie shared a grin with Jane and Mary looked questioningly at her two eldest sisters, "the largest bookstore in England!" Mary lit up like Lydia would up upon seeing a dress or ribbon and she almost skipped along as they walked. Jane and Lizzie sharing amused glances at her happiness, but contented that such a small thing could help their sister's good spirit.

Many shops captivated Kitty and Lydia. Even Mary found herself looking around. The shops were much larger than at home and they contained everything from bonnets to dresses. There were intimate shops in the back of the dress stores that held girdles, corsets, stockings and all sorts of things. Mary blushed quite notably when she saw it all. Lydia, to no ones surprise, although to Kitty's admiration, spoke highly of buying something to surprise Mr. Wickham. Mary noted that neither Jane nor Lizzie seemed embarrassed by the garments.

Mary soon found herself quite bored and as they neared the bookshop she asked to be allowed to go to it. The others agreed that they would fetch her when the worst part was over. And so it was that Mary tentatively opened the door to a paradise unlike anything she had ever seen.

The room was vast and every wall was crammed with books, all lined neatly on the shelves. On the floor stood huge bookcases also stacked with books.

Mary closed her eyes momentarily and enjoyed the smell of books. For a few moments she took pleasure in walking among the shelves, her fingers sliding along the spines of the books. Upon further discovery Mary found that the bookstore held books from science and religion and everything in between. There was a huge section of general literature that held the most esteemed writers' works.

Walking among the religious section she found herself drawn to know about other religions, however, the science section was her first priority. Mary had always prided herself to be sensible enough to know that to believe you needed to know what you believed in its alternatives. You can't just be Christian because you know no other religions. But first and foremost she wanted to know what science said, since it was based on facts, which was something Mary had always thought was most logical and sensible.

She had discussed religion a lot of times, even with Mr. Collins, but no one had really wanted to talk about it. She knew there were other ideas of life, but no one accepted it. Quite weak, she mused, as she made her way towards the part which held philosophy.

Upon walking among the shelves far in the back of the store she heard whispering. She was not one to pry on other people's business and made to turn around, but a whimper caught her off guard and she stopped. It did not sound like any other woman's whimper she had ever heard, so she concluded that something had to be terribly wrong with the lady.

Slowly, stepping closer towards the source from the other side of a huge bookshelf, Mary eventually found herself listening in to the conversation.

"I can't…" A man's voice whispered in grief. But that could not be right, Mary mused, for he sounded greatly distressed, but it could hardly be him who had whimpered. For a few moments Mary awaited another voice, but there were none. The whispering started up again, but it seemed clear to Mary now that he was talking to himself. For a moment she considered leaving, but as she realised that this shop was hardly a place to allow entrance to scoundrels and madmen she decided that perhaps it was just a young man in need.

And so, ever so boldly and gently, Mary leaned against the bookshelf, and whispered, "What can't you?"

* * *

**Please review**


	3. something deeper

**There are a few things I'd like to point out before beginning.**

**pryrmtns****: you mentioned that you had no idea why Miss Darcy felt a kindred spirit with Mary. Well, I actually wrote that they seemed alike in some ways, and even wrote which. In regards to Mary's interest for balls, well I hadn't gotten that far to state her opinion, but in this chapter I will, since we're far enough.**

**Also, I know these chapters might feel jerky, but I am trying to skip over whatever doesn't have much with Mary to do or of any importance, so it might feel like I am going too fast or something like it. I've taken it to heart and tried to slow my pace down.**

**IMPORTANT: I have NO interest in turning Mary into a goddess whatsoever! However, in this chapter Mary was given a new dress and I had some difficulity writing how it looks. I might have over stated its simplicity or something, but I want you to know that the dress is a NORMAL dress. For Mary, I don't believe, would wear anything too... pompous. So I've given her a dress some rich person is likely to wear as daily clothing. It is simple, simple simple simple. Not cinderella.**

**Ok, I just needed to make sure you understood it, cuz I don't like the thought of Mary turning all goddess. **

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 3 – something deeper**

"What can't you?" Mary whispered daringly. On the other side of the shelf the sounds of sadness quieted with a soft gasp of surprise. Mary, taking pity on the young man, apologised, "please forgive me. I should not have surprised you," her voice was calm and polite spoke as she spoke, but held a curious edge.

"No, no it's quite alright," the voice of a young man sounded flustered and then, more calm, said, "I was just, erm, reading," a shuffle sounded from the books from the other side of the shelf. "A book, you know; in here. In this bookshop. I like books. I was just reading aloud to myself," he rapidly spoke and Mary decided not to pry too much unless it was invited.

"Yes, I do that quite often myself." She moved a nearby chair over for her to sit on and then took a book from the shelf so that none should know what she was doing.

"Do what?" The man asked worried and confused, making Mary frown. He was obviously distracted.

"Read aloud to myself. I find it gives a clearer view on things when saying it out loud. Sometimes all sense comes into it when said out loud, or the other way, of course"

"Of course," the man replied and silence reigned for a moment. "So… which book are you reading?" The man enquired politely.

"None, sir, it was you who was," Mary said lightly, wondering what could possible distract someone so much.

"Ah yes, of course… I was reading… I was reading…" the sound of a book falling to the floor sounded, then a loud thud, followed by an "ouch!" And then a book more.

"Are you alright sir? What happened?" Mary stood, contemplating if she should move around the bookcase and help him, but by his reassurance she stayed put.

"I dropped a book, and upon bending to get it another one fell out and hit my head," he laughed lightly, though more sardonically. "Typical," he whispered and Mary could hear his voice had moved to the ground.

"Are you sitting on the floor?" She asked curiously.

"Yes… it's dusty, but it all looks quite big from here," Mary laughed at that and received a light laugh in return. "I feel quite small when everything is so big." Mary sat down on the floor too, ignoring that her dress might be dirtied. She knew not what to say to such a comment that could make him feel any better, but feeling somewhat unwilling to leave him be, her curiosity was too strong, and soon she said, in hopes of comfort:

"But they are only books and shelves. They hold knowledge, but cannot think for themselves. In that you are superior," her voice was a mere whisper, as if unsure of herself. "Things might look bad but you decide in the end." A certain urge rose in her and she wished that she, too, had the opportunity to be her own master. Buried feelings and memories rose inside her and she got up from the floor quickly. "I am sorry, sir! I have been silly! I must go!" And then she hurried off.

Upon reaching the Darcy estate she called for a servant to hear of anyone's return, but all women and men were out and Mary took the leisure to go to her room to calm down. Never had she behaved so freely and boldly. Inside of her she could feel the pleasure of her boldness. It might not have been much polite to interfere with a stranger's business, but she had a need to do something _else_. Something new! She started sobbing at the whole affair. Never had she felt so powerless of being a woman; to have no liberties. To be expected never to marry. Men would always marry, she was sure, whether they were ugly or not, rich or poor. She would end up like a spinster. An old spinster. She would be stuck with her mother!

She cried harder.

Eventually she managed to pull herself together and clean herself up just in time before the women arrived. Lydia's voice reached her ears first as Mary went to greet them.

"Oh Mary!" Lydia called in greeting and waved excitedly, "look what we got! They are the most gorgeous dresses ever!"

"Mine are blue and green!" Kitty said, dancing around animatedly.

"I have a green one too! We shall look just like each other! Like when I was not married!" Lydia exclaimed and the two girls hurried off.

"Did you have a nice time?" Lizzie asked Mary politely and Mary nodded and asked to theirs. They had met many acquaintances of Jane informed that Mrs. Late would be holding a ball in a few days time. Mrs. Bennet was ecstatic by the thought of 2 balls in one week, but Mary was not so interested in balls. Dancing was something she wasn't very good at. She had never really been taught either. Jane and Lizzie had practiced together as had Lydia and Kitty, and still did, which made them quite good at it, but Mary had stayed by her books. Her lack of grace on the dance floor made her detest balls and she had vowed never to expose herself to humility like the one she had experienced at her first ball ever. It had, of course, ended in chaos for she had stepped all wrong. People had laughed.

And so things had proceeded on. She had stayed from the dance floor, occupying her mind with other things. Eventually she had fallen from the group, never really noticed or talked to. She told herself she did not mind. They did not appreciate what she had to say anyway.

But perhaps, inside herself, she could be honest. The pains of the rejections stung. Her mother's words were usual, so she paid them little attention, but her father was a different matter. She knew he was intelligent; he had always appeared to be so. And she strived to be accepted by him, but never did.

Sometimes she mused over her fate. Sometimes she wished she was one of the true poor people, who only had each other. They had real love. No differences. No money to differ them. And then sometimes she wished she was rich. To be able to explore her interest to the fullest and to be appreciated. At those times she was usually brought up in another family.

How she longed for appreciation.

"Mary! Lizzie and Jane bought you a dress," Mrs. Bennet's voice sounded and Mary looked up, "since you were in the bookshop," the last was said with disapproving edge. "Now, come along child! You must try it on!" Mary entered her room with a package, hoping with all her might that it was nothing too pompous.

To her surprise the dress was neither pompous nor silly. It was quite plain, but the colour, blue, made it different along with the textile which was silk. Although the dress was quite normal and all other guests would wear something a lot more prominent, Mary had never felt so right with a dress before. So simple that it suited her interest, the colour so near black and yet not, but what had the greatest impact was the soft silky material it was made of. Mary had never worn silk before.

Suffice to say that it was an ideal dress to give Mary, who was too conservative on the subject.

Upon the night going to the ball Mary had put on her new dress and shawl. Her hair was tied up as usual, but in a different manner. She had plaited it first. Although there was hardly any changes to see she felt different, but it might've been the dress.

"La! Is it really you Mary? You could almost pass as a normal woman!" Cried Lydia and laughed with Kitty, making Mary blush and wish to turn around.

"I think you look lovely, Mary!" Jane informed and moved to stand by Mary.

"So do I," agreed Lizzie and Miss Darcy when Mr. and Mrs. Bennet entered the room along with Mr. Bingley and Mr Darcy.

"Oh Kitty and Lydia! You look so handsome! I dare say, Kitty, you will get a man tonight!" Mrs. Bennet cried ecstatically upon seeing them. Mr. Darcy and Bingley greeted their wives with praises of love and beauty, making the two women blush, and to Mary's surprise, her father whispered:

"You look lovely, too, Mary," and then they all left for the ball.

* * *

**Well, hope you liked it. I had trouble writing about the meeting with the "mystery man", and I wanted to evoke some feelings of despair in Mary... Anyway, hope you think it turned somewhat out well.**


	4. a new friend

**Hello all, I need your help... You see, this guy Mary is meeting in the story I don't know how powerful he should be. First I thought that he should just be rich, but then I thought that he should be an Earl or something... But somehow an Earl seems too... I dunno, far out... what do you think?**

**Normal rich guy or Earl? and in case of Earl can you give me a good name... like Earl of -??- Something flashy... arh, you decide!**

* * *

**Chapter 4 – a new friend **

The ball was nothing like Mary had ever seen before. People were dressed so superior to what she knew and the music was of the finest art. She could not help but gawk a little at the sights around her. Although balls had never impressed her she was certainly impressed now.

Almost immediately upon entering they were greeted by their host, a short elderly woman with a merry expression on her face. She led them around, introducing them to the various people. Jane and Lizzie were already quite known apparently, for many approached them and wished them well. However, in the corners hid also people who did not seem to like the two young women and Mary picked up quite a rude word from an elderly lady as she walked by.

"How rude!" Mrs. Bennet said angrily to her two eldest daughters upon hearing one of the rude words herself. "Gold diggers? In my family? I have never heard such a disgusting thing in my life before!" And so the party moved on, both Jane and Lizzie rolling their eyes at their mother.

The general party was polite to greet Lydia, Kitty and Mary, but Mary noted some restrain and had no doubt that the party thought them as gold diggers coming to steal their men. In her quiet mind she mused this over and came to the same conclusion. Though she herself was not thinking of it as such she knew someone else was. Her mother primarily. Even Lizzie and Jane had talked about some sweet rich men, but that was their circle of friends now, so there seemed little wrong with them doing it. Despite hating it Mary knew that everything seemed to revolve around making a good match. She didn't like it, and as such she kept herself from moving among people too much. Not that this was a change, but for once it wasn't due to anxiety of failure but due to pure disgust of the people assembled.

Overall the party was not much. Lydia made quite a few people laugh, but Mary was not sure if was because of her merry entertainment. Kitty got to mingle around a little and dance with a few strangers and enjoyed herself fully. Even Mary, though keeping a cool distance, had few conversations.

Lydia later on mentioned, with a great laugh, that she had heard someone call Mary a snob. A name undeserved all things considering. But Mary was not entertained. For some silly reason her mind had strayed to an event more breathtaking than the ball. The bookshop was still fresh in her mind and her curiosity begged her to return.

It did not take her long to persuade her parents to let her go to the bookshop.

"My dear head!" Mrs. Bennet cried out at the morning table, making quite a few people winch.

"Indeed," Muttered Mr. Darcy in consent and picked up his fork. Mary, seizing the opportunity said:

"Indeed! You should know that drinking is not only dangerous but it makes people vile!" Mary started, waiting for the first objection. She did not wait in vain.

"Lord! Mary, stop lecturing us! Just because you're dull does not mean the rest of us should be!" Lydia whined and then threw herself over the water in some feeble attempt to replace the alcohol. Mary smirked to herself, but immediately caught Mr. Darcy's eyes. She turned her face, anxious should she have been seen.

"Can I go to the bookshop?" Mary asked, knowing that most of the party was eager to get rid of the lecturing. Her father nodded in consent and Mary got up. Mr. Darcy's eyes followed her out she knew and for a moment she feared that he might see through her little lecturing schemes. Not that she had always had an ulterior motive than lecturing, but sometimes one could gain some freedom by simply being annoying.

In a rush Mary left for the bookshop. She did not notice much on her way, her mind solely occupied by the man behind the bookshelf. She wished she had seen him. Something about him made her curious. She had never seen a man cry. Or heard it. It had always been women. Her father had been through rough times, but he had never cried. Men did not cry, seemed to be the general idea. But then it had to be a huge thing to have happened to this man since he did cry! Mary mused and hurried her pace unconsciously.

Upon reaching the bookshop Mary found it almost empty. She slipped through the shelves down to the end where she had been before. There were none. She sighed, worried that she might never feel the way she had done again. She had never felt so bold and free. The experience had been intoxicating and she wanted more. He had not judged her for it; she had done so herself.

She found a chair and sat down. For a long time she listened to the people shuffling around her, not bothering look up. Eventually, however, she got bored and decided to go back. Books held no interest to her right now. As she reached the door a familiar voice rang out.

"Excuse me, Sir," Mary halted, her ears carefully listening in. Slowly she grasped a book near her and slowly turned around as inconspicuously as possible. She was just in time to see a raven-haired gentleman move down the isle between the shelves with the shop keeper.

Biting her lower lip she took a quick decision. She laid down the book again and followed the two men from the other side of the shelf, carefully listening to what was being said.

After a couple of sentences she was absolutely sure it was him. She felt her heart quicken. He had raven hair. So this was how the man who let her be free looked like! – From behind anyway.

"Thank you," the man spoke and then shop keeper left. Mary could hear the man browse the books on the other side of the shelf. She had no idea what to say. What could she say that didn't sound silly? She didn't even have the right to say anything to him. What if he got mad?

Eventually that man seemed to have found what he was searching for and he gave a small "Ah, here it is" in appreciation. His steps moved away and Mary blurted out:

"Please stay!" His steps stopped and she heard him turn. For a few seconds silence reigned and then he moved on. "Please," she asked again.

"Are you talking to me?" The man asked and she heard him move closer. She flushed by her casual behaviour.

"Y-yes," she whispered against the bookshelf.

Curious the man asked, "Can I help you."

"I'm sorry!" Mary gasped, nearly breaking into tears by her own frustration.

The man laughed a little and said, "For whatever for, miss?"

"For last time! When we were farther down!" Mary declared and the man fell silent.

"Ahh..." he said quietly and she could hear him moving slowly downwards the shelf. She moved along. "Please, let us forget…"

"I… it was not my place. I'm a woman, women should not-" Mary interjected, but was cut off.

"Don't be so hard on your own sex," He asked quietly and Mary fell silent.

"Everyone would agree with me," she said quietly, "I was curious about you… and… I felt so bold. I never loose control over myself… I… I don't know," she concluded almost tiredly. "I've been thinking of you since it happened..."

"And you've been worried about my anger?" He half laughed and Mary returned it unsure. "I am sure no one would hold it against you. All you did was… to enquire…" he seemed uncomfortable and Mary quickly led him away from the uncomfortable affair.

"My mother would," she said, surprisingly herself with her boldness once again. "I'm sorry," she said again, for bringing her mother into the matters.

"You apologise far too often," He exclaimed and Mary laughed. "Out of curiosity, why would your mother care?"

Taking a deep breath Mary said, "She opposes every form of boldness. It would drive people away."

"I am sure your friends would not mind," he said and when Mary did not reply he said "Oh…" another few moments of silence reigned before he added. "Men," and Mary agreed with a quiet mumble. "Are you poor?" The man asked, "I am sorry! Forgive me, I did not-" Mary laughed at him and he fell silent.

"Please, if I am bold enough to enquire to affairs none of my business so can you," she laughed lightly, "We have housemaids and my two eldest sisters are… very rich… but not gold diggers!" She hurriedly added. "They were lucky to find love."

"Some people are very lucky," he agreed with a contemplative voice.

"Everything seems to revolve around making a good match!" Mary pouted suddenly.

"Yes! Everything! People cannot decide for themselves in fear of loosing their heritage!" The man exclaimed and Mary heartedly agreed.

"At least you men are luckier than us poor women!" Mary informed, "You get to inherit!"

"As if that is something. Sometimes I wish was poor in order to live like I want to!"

"Oh no! Please, that would be awful! I've seen such people and many of them resort to alcohol! Money is needed," Mary concluded.

"So is the opportunity of making your own choices," he replied and Mary agreed. "But you women don't have it hard. Everything is so easy with you. I've never met a woman who wasn't skilled. You're all so…" he struggled in his eagerness to find the right words, "well you're all very skilled! You dance so gracefully and you write, sing, play, pain and sew!!" Mary laughed again.

"Indeed?" Mary asked, "I've never met a woman who can do all those things to perfection. Even the most skilled woman I know have only a few of those skills perfected," Mary informed, thinking briefly of Georgiana who had herself informed that she much rather enjoyed paining and playing than sewing.

"Really?" He asked curiously.

"Did you really believe we would be good at all things?" Mary enquired intriguingly. "That would equalise all women… well, if you didn't take their looks into consideration," she said.

"What are you good at?" He asked and Mary let out a contemplative sigh.

"I read. I love reading. And I play. I sew. Although my interest for that subject has greatly decreased since I keep pinching myself with the needle," the man laughed.

"Indeed! I should fear sewing too! All those needles and the patterns you sew after are so small!" He cried out in mock horror.

"Do not underestimate sewing!" Mary informed severely, "or I shall make you sew yourself and I daresay your attitude shall change to true horror," they laughed.

* * *

**I wanted to portray 2 people meeting. They don't know how each other look and it makes them forward. They create a strong bond through the things they share. They can be bold without being judged. They create a "true" friendship in the sense that there are no first impressions by the eye and hence no judging as such and they get to know each other better instead of trying to impress each other.**


	5. time flies

**This chapter is mainly to make time go faster. Anyway, enjoy.****

* * *

**

Chapter 5 – time flies

As Mary walked back to the Darcy estate she could not help skipping a bit. It was unladylike indeed and she was sure her mother would disapprove of such a childish act. But she did not care. Without having realised it the Mystery Man and Mary had sat talking for almost 3 hours! Mary could hardly believe the time had passed so quickly! Thinking back she felt a now very familiar tickle in her belly. Oh how wonderful it was to talk to someone who did not judge her! And they had spoken of so many things! Most had been about the pleasures and lack thereof in society. They spoke of families in general terms, never actually stepping further into the private details of their own lives, except what Mary had told in the beginning.

The Mystery Man, as Mary had romantically chosen to call him, not because she harboured any feelings other than friendly, but she hardly knew what else to call him. For he was indeed a Mystery Man. His mysterious attitude had forced her from her suppressing chains. He was her saviour. He neither judged nor told her to be quiet. He listened and answered with a fierce passion that matched her own to whatever morals she might come with. They had laughed and when the shop keeper had neared they had pretended not to have anything to with each other. Not that people noticed, they were, after all, still of each side of the shelf!

To Mary's surprise, or perhaps her boldness wasn't so much as surprise anymore, she had told him how nice it was to speak freely and had said she wished she could do it more often. He had replied with a wish to see her the following day around noon. She had agreed. And perhaps she should've stopped up and reconsidered everything. If anyone ever found out about her secret meetings they would surely frown. To meet secretly was something quite big in itself, but to meet with someone you knew not who were was something else entirely! Not only would it inspire quite a shocking reputation but it also might leads to danger!

And so, Mary actually did stop up to think. She thought about it hard. Could she really give this up due to lack of security? Should she choose her own way or follow her family's? If she chose her own and anything should happen her family would be marked. But was that such a bad thing? Lizzie and Jane were already married so the only one who'd have her reputation ruined would be Kitty, but she was doing quite fine by herself. Her devotion to Lydia had been shown at the ball at a conversation, and no one looked particularly satisfied by it all. Though they did not know about Lydia's elopement the fact that she had married a low rank officer was just enough to make their hairs rise!

And so Mary continued her pace back home, for after great contemplation she had realised that her family had nothing to lose by her indulgence in her freedom fantasies.

"Hello Mary, you look quite chipper, did you read some good books?" Lizzie asked when Mary entered the tea room. Mary could barely hide a grin, but did her best. It was not so hard to hide, for soon enough it disappeared by itself.

"We've got unexpected visitors!" Lizzie said, "Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst, you remember my sister: Miss Mary Bennet," Lizzie reintroduced. It was clear that neither of the _fine_ ladies remembered her, and she wished she had their memory, or lack thereof, for surely they were not the nicest of people she had ever met or heard of.

"Ah, Miss Bennet! So nice to see you again!" Miss Bingley spoke with a clear falsity, Mary, to perhaps everyone's surprise, bowed politely and said, "And so nice to see you too! We've surely missed your company," her eyes bore into the cruel woman who had forbidden her sisters love and had made fun of the family. Her voice was layered with insincerity and at the edge of mocking, but she felt free and energetic and had little problems with being rude. No one, she decided, should step on her.

Miss Bingley seemed a little surprised by the tone of Mary, but said nothing, and everyone let it slide since none knew how to handle this outburst. From then on Mary relented a little. There were little reason to draw too much attention to her, and just because one had gained a little freedom did it not mean one should forget the rules of general politeness towards other people.

And so the evening passed with tea, then dinner, then tea again with the ladies while the men spoke to themselves and then some game for all to join in. All in all it was a boring evening, Mary thought, and by the time night arrived she was eager to leave for bed, for the morrow was much more promising than the night had been.

Sleep did not come easily to her, however, and by the time she fell asleep she slept troubled and woke far too early, but unable to go back to sleep again. Figuring she might get some reading done she found one of her books, but not soon after it turned out that it was unable to keep her attention for too long, and Mary had to resolve to more drastic methods of getting rid of all her energy. It turned out that a morning walk would do her some good and so she moved through the streets, unconsciously moving towards the bookshop. Upon finding it closed, which should not have surprised her considering the time, she slowly walked back again and was in good time to enjoy the solitude before the other occupants awoke.

"Mary, you're early," Lizzie said as she entered the parlour. Mary looked up from her place near the window and smiled.

"Yes," she replied simply and returned her gaze outwards. Lizzie knitted her brows in slight worry, for Mary was not one to act relaxed. She was bookish and lecturing and quiet, but not relaxed and dreamish.

"What is on your mind?" Lizzie asked, taking a chair nearby. Mary looked up at her sister, slightly worried by whatever questions might come.

"What should be wrong?" Mary almost accused and received a gentle laugh in reply.

"You seem so occupied. You're never one to dream away," she tilted her head and Mary bit her lip lightly.

"I don't dream," she replied, returning to her bossy tone, "I enjoy the quietness and ponders of the nature. Did you know that London can be quite beautiful covered in snow?" Mary pointed towards the window and Lizzie beamed upon seeing the thick layers of snow that had fallen through the night

"Oh that is wonderful, for surely snow makes everyone happy! We shall have great fun," she blinked at Mary and somehow Mary got the distinct impression that Lizzie had something planned for Mr. Darcy. Mary returned with a smile before they were interrupted by the rest of the house.

People were indeed existed by the snow. Lydia seemed to have returned to early childhood along with Kitty, who were both ecstatic by the prospect of making great snowmen and throwing snowballs at each other. Mrs. Bennet was delighted by seeing the town in such a different setting and insisted we all make Christmas decoration, for surely there was nothing like it when it was snowing.

Mary went along just to make time go faster and almost half an hour before noon she went to change her dress to something more befitting the weather. Subconsciously, however, she started to comb her hair and put it into a different style. Even her clothes did she smother to make sure there were no wrinkles at all.

This seemed to turn into an almost daily routine with very few interruptions. Most times it was around noon and few times it was later in the evening. Neither saw each other but enjoyed that fact. None of them wished to spoil it by society influence and kept their identities hidden.

As they got to know each other they came up with silly names for each other instead of their real ones. The Mystery Man was no longer just Mystery Man but now Ferdinand: a duke from the 1700. Mary herself decided to call herself Marie Antoinette since she thought the name was ironic considering how opposite they actually were. And so the two people got to know each other better under their pseudonyms.

"I have to go away for a while," Ferdinand said one day from the other side of the shelf.

"Why?" Mary questioned, leaning closer.

"My family has decided to visit my great aunt. It is not far away and I shall only be away for 2 weeks. Nevertheless it means will be just far enough away from town…" he almost sounded sad, just like Mary felt.

"Well, at least you will come back," she whispered and he laughed softly in agreement.

"I got something for you, Miss Antoinette," Ferdinand suddenly said brightly. "Come to the end of the shelf," she heard him move towards the end and she followed with a pounding heart. Was she going to meet him now? She wondering slightly worried and excited at the same time. They reached the end and suddenly and arm came around the shelf, carrying a small package. Mary gasped at the implication, and felt silly she had not thought of giving him something.

"But, Ferdinand!" She whispered as she accepted the small gift, "how generous of you! Had I known-"

"No, don't return the favour. I've written a card, but promise me to only open it when things seem unbearable or at Christmas Eve. I did it to comfort you," he said quietly and Mary felt breathless by the signal.

"I-," she whispered, unable to say much. She was touched beyond words.

"Don't say anything," he asked.

And that was their parting. He left Mary shortly after that and she stayed by the chair she had occupied for a long time, the gift lying firmly in her hand. He had given her not only a gift, but a way of showing that when her family was too much she could remember the gift and know that at least someone was not judging. She smiled to herself by the beautiful gesture and went home. This Christmas might be more bearable than the rest, she mused with a firm smile playing on her lips.

* * *

**I had trouble with the part where he gives Mary the gift... I wasn't sure it was done the right way, but I concluded that it was necessary to make it seem like friendship and nothing romantic at all. Anyway, please review :) if you have ideas write them for I can inspired by all you say **


	6. when things turn bad

**So... what's going on in this chapter is mainly feelings. I wanted to portray a bit of stress, some evil people and comments along with the result and how to deal with it... That is the primary funktion on this chapter anyway :)

* * *

**

Chapter 6 – when things turn bad

As she had predicted things turned quite messy. The chaos was almost unbearable. First came the regular chaos of how to _begin_ Christmas and then came the part where to _start_ it with decorations. Mary, who enjoyed the solitude of walking around and hanging things up, did not enjoy it this time. It did not help that Mrs. Hurst and Miss Bingley just sat and watched, while commenting. Although, to Mary's grace, most comments were directed towards Mrs. Darcy.

"Oh Mary! That doesn't fit at all! It should be over there, with the other ugly goblins!" Lydia exclaimed giggling along with Kitty.

"We have a place for the ugly goblins," Kitty grinned and pointed towards the corner were a few ugly goblins hung. Mary nodded silently and wondered when they had decided that. For a brief moment she thought of putting up a fight, but she'd rather tell Ferdinand that her Christmas had been perfect; for once. But she conceded and, though internally vexed, put the décor by the other ugly goblins and then went to go to her room a little. An outsider might not understand why she was bothered, but Mary had always been corrected by her younger siblings, and if she fought them they'd end up in a huge fight and Mrs. Bennet would usually tell Mary to be quiet.

For a few moments she sat in her room until she was interrupted by Miss Darcy.

"Hello," the young woman greeted politely and Mary politely asked her to enter. "It is quite a mess down there," Miss Darcy informed and the smiled lightly.

"I imagine. Is Miss Bingley still playing the expert?" Mary enquired and Georgiana nodded with a grin. They sat in slightly awkward silence until Georgiana informed that she had to go downstairs again. Mary joined her.

"Mary, Georgiana! We've been invited for a Christmas ball! Isn't that exciting? I wonder what I shall wear! I must look like Christmas itself!" Lydia declared and Kitty started mentioning ideal colours. Georgiana laughed and came with a few good ideas herself and Mary moved to the side.

Then things became slightly more hectic, because between having many visitors dropping by every day most ladies of the house were eager for find new Christmas dresses for the upcoming ball the 22nd of December. Once in a while Mary went to the bookstore, in weak hopes that Ferdinand might've gotten back earlier. But he wasn't there.

Miss Darcy seemed to become even crueller as Christmas neared. Lydia had told her, Mary, that it was because Miss Bingley's birthday was upon soon enough, and she would be turning 25! Mary could not believe that such a rich women had not been married yet, for she knew that many would interested; despite the woman's nature. But then again, Mary mused, perhaps people could be reasonable and that was why Miss Bingley was still single, despite fortune. This though cheered Mary decidedly and she kept it close to cheer her up whenever Miss Bingley was too much.

The day of the 22nd of December Mary did something shocking. She bought a dress. It was not like Lydia's, Kitty's or Georgiana's, but it was nevertheless pretty. It was spontaneous and she had spent most of her allowance on it, but she felt like she needed something new. To be more. She wanted to show that she was worth something. A feeling Ferdinand had given her and she believed it. The dress was simple enough, long sleeves, slightly tight around the chest and stomach and then loosened from the hips and down. Nothing too fancy, but quite a different style from what she was used to.

She had bough it in a creamy white with pale green borders and ribbons. She looked quite lovely. Even her family agreed. Kitty insisted that she do Mary's hair, for, as she pointed out, you needed nice hair for a nice dress. With much disagreement from Mary's side Kitty eventually managed to put Mary's hair in order with hairpins that glittered. She didn't quite look like herself, and she felt a little anxious, albeit better.

"Mary, may I come in?" Jane's voice sounded from the other side of the door. It was early morning and they had returned from the ball. Although, Mary had returned earlier.

"I am quite tired," She declared from her room, but Jane entered nevertheless. She sighed at Mary, whose eyes were slightly puffy. Clearly from crying.

Jane took a seat near the bed, where Mary was sitting, her hair in disarray and her dress crumbled. "Mary, you left so early," Jane started out diplomatically, but Mary did not answer. For a moment it seemed Jane was debating on whether to leave the subject or not. "Listen, those women don't know what they talk about-" Jane eventually said.

Mary shook her head violently. The ball had started out nicely, until about three quarters of an hour into when Mary had been introduced to some ladies her mother was speaking to.

"So this is your daughter, too?" One of them had asked and looked at Mary. Her gaze held neither pleasure nor displeasure.

"Well, that is a very pretty dress! I remember how you looked at the first ball here in London…" and so it moved on. Her mother, trying to be diplomatic, had giggled and informed that Mary was not into dresses and had little fashion sense, but her sisters helped her. The ill-interest they held for Mary became pleased upon hearing about the other sisters, and Mrs. Bennet seemed to take it was a cue to have Mary be the link to get Kitty into good favours. What better way to bond than through mutual interest; the interest of pointing out flaws with Mary and her senses.

And so Mary was upheld by the women. She was given good advice as if she was some nobody that knew nothing at all. She was advised to stop reading books and get more out and eventually Mary's self esteem could not take it and she left.

"They were right," Mary said to Jane, who smiled kindly.

"You know that is not true!" Jane scolded lightly, pushing Mary one more step towards breaking into tears. "Those women… they do nothing good. Don't listen to them! You were beautiful tonight!" Jane insisted.

"And what about mama? She used me to get Kitty in good favours!" Mary finally broke down in tears and while her head was hiding in a pillow she gestured for Jane to leave. From the hall she could hear Jane tell Mrs. Bennet about it and Mrs. Bennet's voice carried through the walls:

"Good grace, Jane! It's not like Mary will get a man anyway! We might as well use the advantages we have!"

Mary hardly slept that night because she couldn't stop crying. Never had it been so evident that her mother had tried to use her. As if she did not deserve to be in good favours. The hate she felt was unbelievable and she fell asleep in pure exhaustion. Most of the following day was spent in the silence of her room. A few had come by, mainly Jane, Lizzie and Georgiana, but she had told that she was sick and needed to rest.

The 23rd of December Mary was in her room, turning the small package Ferdinand had given her in her hands. She wished she could go down into the sitting room and scream at her mother. Show them the package and say that she had gotten a gift. That she wasn't as worthless and her mother believed. Somehow it wasn't as much her mother's words that had saddened her at the party. She knew her mother was capable of such things, but she had honestly thought her father would help her. He did not. In his mind, apparently, she was just a silly girl. Silly as Lydia and Kitty.

"Why do I seek the love from people who doesn't want to give it freely?" Mary asked herself aloud, nearly breaking into tears. Propriety held her from doing any ranting. She had to be stronger, be better than that. "Only by politeness and love can I gain love in return. No need to stoop to their level," she continued to herself as she slowly let the ribbon around the gift fall. "I don't need them," she continued, thinking primarily of her mother and father, while opening the end of the package. She took a deep breath to calm herself, "I know I am better," she though back at Mr. Collins who had barely noticed her presence. If a man like him could not notice her then something was wrong. "But it is not me," she got out a folded paper and slowly unfolded it.

_Dear Miss Marie Antoinette_

_I hope this letter finds you Christmas morning rather than before. If before it means you've not managed to keep things up and I hope that this letter shall give you comfort. Christmas would be ideal. It would mean that you survived and that your circumstances are to live through._

_Nevertheless, whichever day you choose I hope this will make you smile; smile more if you're already smiling._

_I was smiling as I wrote it._

_In the last couple of weeks I've met an incredible young lady. I apologise for being so bold, nay I do not! For I believe that what we share allows us to be bold. I certainly feel that I can be frank with you regarding everything. I am most grateful for that._

_I am grateful to have met you. I met you at a time in my life when I truly needed a friend. Someone I could speak to without society's touch. _

_The highlight of my day is around noon when I walk to the bookshop, almost skipping! I daresay I've had comments, although, some pointed towards a reason that was quite different. Not so unreasonable, albeit… It sounds silly, I know, but I promise to tell you everything when I get back._

_I enter the bookstore and walk down the usual row, giving my compliments to the owner first, of course. And then I talk to you. That is the top of my day. I have duties, but I would happily neglect them for a meeting with you. That is how happy our meetings make me. I hope you feel the same._

_I want you to know that I appreciate you. We've talked little about our families, but what I know gave me the feeling that it is not often you're appreciated. I know there could be many reasons for that. You could be poor and society is cruel to you. You could be a maid. You could be rich with much pressure. But I don't know what you are, and I don't care. I don't want it to spoil our meetings. I appreciate them too much._

_Now, enough with the talking, you must open your gift._

_Think of me when all else fails._

_Yours,_

_Ferdinand_

_Ps: see you on the 4th of January_

Mary held her hand to her mouth, nearly unable to keep her cried of happiness inside. She would see him soon! She was appreciated. She had a friend! Oh how she felt so secure and calm! She opened the gift and found a small box. Curiously she opened it and found the most gorgeous necklace ever. A gold necklace with a heart with what seemed to be diamond stones inside.

But that couldn't possibly be. Such thing would be expensive! She felt flattered by the implication that a rich man wanted her as a friend. She moved her hair to the side and put it on and then moved to look in the mirror. It was perfect. Simple, but expensive and filled with emotions. This heart symbolised the meetings, the feelings, the friendship, the secrets; everything.

She felt flutter in her stomach. How she wished her family could see her now! She was just about to take it off and hide it again when she thought why. Why should she take it off? Why should she hide? She was happy and nothing or no one could spoil it. She'd show her family that Mary Bennet was no worthless. Mary Bennet was appreciated!

* * *

**Don't put too much into that the shape is a heart... Merely a gesture. :) for now :P anyway, please review!**


	7. child impertinence?

**A/N Ok, this chapter Mary speaks her mind. It is very OOC from this time, but then again not. I mean, I know that people are very strict, but are they also in private? Anyway, just imagine years of suppression and something is about to happen unless you say something, because you know no one else will. This is basically the stage Mary has reached**

**However, I daresay you will like the ending of this chapter.**

* * *

**Chapter 7 – child impertinence?**

The necklace was half hidden behind a shawl when Mary left her room to seek out breakfast. Once more she was earlier up, and she spent the solitude contemplating whether or not she should really be so bold and keep on the necklace. While she could be bold when handling with Ferdinand her family was an entirely different business.

Questions. Questions would lead to answers and what would she say? That she bought it? She did not have enough allowance to do that. Should she say she got it from a man? If so, they'd ask about him. What should she say then?

In all her panic she quickly took it off and left it in her pocket, just before the others joined her. The necklace lay heavily against her thigh and she felt ashamed that she had not honoured Ferdinand's gift better, but as reasonable as she was she knew it was too early to show. If her family found out it would not take them long to connect the pieces; her often trips to the bookshop without ever buying a book.

She did not fear their reactions; she feared their response. The chance was that Mama would engage her in it, seeing as the necklace was expensive, but her father, having to play his role, would most likely forbid it. Jane and Lizzie would back him up whilst Lydia and Kitty would find it romantic.

For now the necklace served its purpose from her pocket, where she held her hand, squeezing it once in a while to remember.

Christmas passed like it always did. Gifts were traded and people did their best to honour it. For some that task was more difficult though. Lydia and Kitty were usually ones to complain, but they did it with a sense of humour that did not leave the bringer unhappy and on the verge of suicide. A quick "How lovely! Just what I wanted, although in green! But this will do too; it will fit so perfect to my new dress!"

At least they had some sense of decency in that end. Mama just sighed lightly and smiled while saying that the gift was lovely. However, as she put it to the side she'd do it with little care and interest. This was not just Mary's gifts, but everyone's in general.

Mary played her part well enough, but Kitty was usually one to call the bluff. And it was not difficult; everyone's attempt to turn her into a goddess was not her style and it seemed only Georgiana had given her something she could actually use and was not made out to make her more beautiful and attractive.

All in all it had been pleasant and people had been able to use and care for almost all things they got. The only thing that had made Mary angry had been a small conversation about Mary's looks after a present mama had given her.

"It's the latest thing in London," Mrs. Bennet intoned, once again, "It should be great for your hair! If people could actually see you face you'd might not scare them away," Mrs. Bennet smiled gently at Mary while trying to pin up Mary's hair with a new hair-keeper.

From across the room Lydia said, "If you want her to get married go to where the regiment is; they'll have anyone!" She giggled and Mr. Bennet replied harshly,

"We shall have no more of that sort," before going back to his breakfast just as Mary said,

"Like you?" Silence fell over the room and Lydia looked up in confusion.

"What do you mean?" Lydia asked, not having grasped anything yet.

Mary held the necklace tightly before saying, "you said the officers take on any girl. Did you mean like how they took you?" Her jaw was clenched, but Ferdinand had taught her that there were times you could not just let pass without a fight.

"I beg your pardon!" Lydia exclaimed shocked and Mrs. Bennet quickly took up the role of trying to stop any forthcoming fight. But it seemed too late, and Mary was not one to back away from this discussion. "How dare you!" Lydia looked at Kitty for some backup, and she quickly took up the role.

Standing her ground Mary said, "I dare nothing. You said it yourself and I was just curious…"

"Oh stop that nonsense! I know what you meant!" Lydia almost screamed in anger.

"Fine!" Mary stood from her chair by the breakfast table. She held around the necklace tighter. "I meant exactly what you think!"

"Mary!" Mr. Bennet warned.

"Why?" Mary interjected angrily, "You all know it. And Kitty is following Lydia's tracks!" Mary glared around the room.

"And I am proud of it!" Kitty spoke and Mary let out a mocking laugh.

"Of what? Eloping with a man that originally had no intentions whatsoever to marry you?" Mary looked at Kitty intensely.

"That is NOT true!" Lydia once again screamed while Mrs. Bennet hastily tried to shush Mary and Lydia and keep the peace. Jane and Lizzie sat by their husbands, neither interested in stopping what had now begun. Perhaps they knew it was for that best. Mrs Hurst and Miss Bingley seemed to enjoy it and had gotten themselves comfortable for the show.

"That is true and everyone knows it! Are you really so blind? What kind of honourable man would do such a thing? Elope!" Mary mocked and continued, "Does he even love you? Why wasn't he invited here? You said he's so busy, but still you live poorly!" Lydia screamed in protest, tears falling from her eyes in anger. Mary raised her voice and said, "He doesn't want to be with you! He just wanted your-" Mary fell silent and took a deep breath. Nobody spoke until Lydia finally smashed her glass and rushed out, Kitty following right behind.

Mary turned to the shocked people assembled, "and Kitty will always follow Lydia unless you do something!" And then she went to her room. Half an hour later she was visited by Mr. Bennet, who took a place by the window.

"You were very bold," he told and Mary felt the usual shame wash over her when being rebuked. "Are you proud that you've might've destroyed Lydia's ignorance," Mary looked up, confused, "indeed we all know the truth," he continued with his hands folded behind his back, "but her ignorance made her happy, we shall have no peace now," he continued, "but perhaps some good things will come of it. Kitty perhaps will do better," he seemed to be talking to himself.

"So I did the right thing," Mary eventually concluded, but her father shook his head.

"It was not for you to say. You are but a child, and there are many things you have yet to learn," Mr. Bennet spoke, "do not concern yourself with your sisters business."

"And stand by and watch as Kitty elopes with some officer?" Mary asked, "you've done nothing.-"

"That is quite enough, Mary!" Said Mr. Bennet harshly and Mary fell silent. "You've been very impertinent lately. Speaking back to those elder than you," Mr Bennet said after a brief pause. Mary looked at him surprised, "don't think I haven't noticed," he started pacing the room slowly; "I suppose it is I who have the blame. I haven't been a good enough father," Mary made to object, but he silenced her with a sharp glance. Then he left her and Mary wondered, not for the first time, how her father could see her as a failure when all she had done was to take action.

Life went on and what ever had happened on the morning of the 25th was forgotten and replaced with eagerness towards a forthcoming masquerade ball on New Years Eve. A Marquess and Marchioness Von Thesen, along with their two daughters and only son, who was supposed to spend the holidays outside of town, had come back earlier than expected and decided to host a masquerade ball for the upper society. Bingley and Darcy were on the list, along with family and Mary saw it as a perfect opportunity to wear the necklace, since she would be wearing a mask and nobody would recognise and ask about it.

* * *

**Next chapter, I reckon, shall be about the masquerade. I do hope you've figured things out now**

**Thanks to Sophie who reviewed and gave me the idea to make them meet at a ball.**

**RANKS!!!! Rank system goes: Duke, Marquess, Earl, Viscount and Baron. Duke is a relation to the monarchy, which was too big. Earl was actually a good idea, but I decided that Marquess sounded flashier. For those who are unaware (I checked Wikipedia) a Marquess is the same as an Earl, escept with a little more power. They were stationed by borders and made sure things were good and so on. **

**Anyway, the titled is inherited from a grandfather who kept some English borders and was granted the title. The title is given onwards to the eldest son. More of that in Next Chapter´**

**Please review and say what you think!**


	8. starting the ball

**Was supposed to have updated before christmas, but did not have the time. Anyway, hope you had a nice christmas. A little chapter for you as a gift, hope you enjoy it.**

**

* * *

****Chapter 8 – starting the ball**

The Darcy estate was in uproar the days up to the New Years Eve masquerade ball. Not only Kitty and Lydia were about to go nuts with excitement, but Mrs. Hurst and Miss Bingley were, surprisingly, giddy too!

From what Mary had gathered the Marquess and family were usually people that stuck mostly to themselves and let others throw the balls. The general view on them seemed to be that they were snobby and cold, but Georgiana, who had for a few brief times shared piano lessons with the eldest daughter, could only think of good things to say. However, everyone knew Georgiana to be a sweet spirit that could hardly ever speak ill of anyone.

Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley did their best to give accounts for their dealings with the family, but it was not much and it was usually strictly professional without much personal chat.

"Oh you will be so lovely!" Mrs. Bennet almost screeched when Kitty explained how she was going to look like.

"Do be careful, Mrs. Bennet," Miss Bingley warned carefully, "I hardly think that shoving your daughters onto their bags will get you their good opinions."

With little care, Mrs. Bennet said, "Oh nonsense, I am quite a discreet woman!" Everyone shared a glance.

"I doubt that was what my sister meant," Mr. Bingley spoke up, "their son is engaged and so will most young men be there. This is a very high society and, to be bold, most are already taken," Bingley walked over to Jane, who was smiling lovingly at him.

"Mama, do be careful," Jane advise, "if you push too much-" Jane did not finish the sentence before Mrs. Bennet left, not interested in the talk.

"At least you, Catherine," Lizzie continued the conversation, "be careful and try to stay away from mama or she will force you to meet someone. Real love is never forced, but given to those unsuspecting," Lizzie glanced at her husband and Mary bit her lip subconsciously.

"I shall stay away from mama all night," Kitty laughed, "I daresay my chances will only improve," and then she and Lydia left, giggling.

"And you, Mary," Lizzie notified and Mary looked up sharply in surprise.

Slightly confused, Mary asked, "Pardon me?"

"Do be careful."

Colourful masks were bought for the household and Mary took delight in getting a girlish pink one with feathers. Her plan was to dress out as Marie Antoinette, but as she later discovered, that task was slightly too difficult and she feared she'd stand out a little too much. In the end the young Bennet decided upon a pale rosy dress with sleeves that went to her elbows, were tight across the chest and then loosened right below and had a small train after her. As Miss Bingley pointed out, slightly proudly, the dress resembled to one she had in her closet and she was proud to have inspired the sister.

Mary had no idea what Miss Bingley had in her closet.

"Mary, we have to leave soon!" Georgiana's voice sounded fro the hallway. Mary bid her lip slightly worried while standing in front of the mirror in her room. In her hand lay the necklace from Ferdinand. It had been her intentions to wear it tonight, since she wore a mask anyway, but when it came down to it she worried about questions. She put down the necklace on her dresser and left her room, deciding that she wasn't ready. Half way down the stairs she hurried back and put it in her pocket.

"If I'm not ready now, when will I be?" She mused, closing her hand around the necklace for comfort. He had given her this necklace for when she needed strength, but every time she needed strength she had left it in her room.

"Oldest families in England, positively the entire world," Miss Bingley was saying when Mary entered the hallway.

"How exiting!" Mrs. Bennet beamed as they all moved to the carriages that were going to take them to the household.

"You can hardly call it a household, Charles," Miss Bingley laughed lightly as the rode, "it's more of a…"

"Castle," Jane supplied and Miss Bingley nodded.

Interested, Miss Bingley asked, "Have you seen it, Jane?"

"Once. From the outside. Lizzie likes to walk –the two sisters shared a friendly glance- and we were out walking and walked by it."

"How marvellous!" Mrs. Hurst commented, "And quite a walk! The estate is at the end of the city, almost just outside!" And with good reason, Mary realised as they came closer. The house was not just a house, more of a castle at the end of London. It was magnificent.

"It's been in their favour for many generations," Mr. Darcy informed, "But I don't think they were titled up until the great grandfather, the title Marquess I mean," he paused for a moment to enjoy the scenery, for it was truly a sight to behold in the winter. Thick layer of snow stretched afar and gave the property a certain cosy feeling.

"Stationed by the borders or something," Miss Bingley continued thoughtfully, "what borders I don't know," she shared a laugh with Mrs. Hurst, "and awarded for special services to the crown."

They came to a halt and for a few minutes the ride went slowly towards the grand entrance as they were resting behind a large queue of fancy carriages.

The door was opened by a richly dressed servant who helped everyone out and then they were escorted up a large staircase illuminated by torches at each side. Mary was speechless; she felt like a queen, and upon looking around, she felt sure that everyone else felt like that too. Not long before they entered they were greeted by another servant who took their coats and pointed led them in the direction of the ball.

As they neared the entrance hall to the ballroom all masks were brought to their faces and Mary quickly got on her necklace. In front of her she could hear her mother's comments, but not just hers. The hall was buzzing with people oo'ing and ah'ing at the grand pictures that hung on the wall, and Mary took delight in talking to Georgiana and hearing her delight at each pieces they encountered. She was absolutely amazed.

Again they stopped in queue as they waiting to enter the ballroom. As they got closer the talk died down and Mary soon realised that the hosts were greeting everyone just before entering the ballroom.

"How dull!" Lydia muttered just behind Mary, "Imagine that: standing up to greet what must be over a hundred people! La! I should never have that job or I would drop dead!" Kitty giggled and Mary was on the verge of telling Lydia that she need not worry of ever having to do so, but refrained. She was clever enough to know when to keep her tongue. No need to spoil such a promising evening.

"Mr. Darcy, Sir, and this is my wife, Elizabeth Darcy," Mr. Darcy's voice spoke from the front and Lydia and Kitty fell silent.

"Ahh indeed! Well, I remember you, Darcy from that deal in the north!" And for a few minutes the two chatted comfortably before a female voice asked them to move on.

"Greetings, Sir, pleasure of being your acquaintance," Mr. Bennet greeted politely, "Mrs. Darcy and Mrs. Bingley are my daughters, this is my wife, Mrs. Bennet," Mr. Bennet introduced, "my other third eldest, Mary, second youngest, Catherine and youngest: Lydia, who is now a Mrs. Wickham," Mary greeted a tall thin man with a slight beard. His mask was a simple black with white borders. He politely asked them all to have fun ad to consider the estate as their home for the evening,"

Mary then greeted Mrs Von Thesen, who appeared to have taken masquerade to another level. She wore stately clothes in different colours and jewellery and her mask was made of long peacock feathers and was multicoloured.

"What a lovely necklace!" Mrs Von Thesen spoke just as Mary was moving onwards to greet, who Mary presumed, was the son. "Frederic," Marchioness Von Thesen spoke and the young man to her side turned to her, "See," carefully she pointed towards Mary's necklace, "It looks like the same necklace I gave to you when you were born!" Mary started to feel uncomfortable by the attention, and her family was beginning to notice that the line had not moved on.

"But I thought this was the only copy," Mrs. Von Thesen spoke and Mary started blushing in discomfort. The young man was staring at her now and Mary was starting to feel quite uncomfortable with the attention. "Where did you buy it? I thought there was only one copy."

"Excuse me, I must catch up with my family, or else I might lose them out of sight!" Mary laughed anxiously and the Marchioness Von Thesen laughed lightly and apologised. The line moved onwards and Mary passed the Son and two daughters quickly and then went to somewhere she could clear her head and calm down. She was proud of the necklace, but the attention was almost too much. Her family had almost noticed. Surely her mother would see that Mary was speaking to the Marchioness as a good sign to mingle better and if Mrs. Bennet realised what they were talking of… Oh the questions!

She found her family at a table to the sides where she took a seat and poured some water. She was trembling slightly; unready for the discovery or the consequences. She looked towards the ballroom entrance and noticed that all the quests seemed to have arrived; the young Von Thesen son was scouting the hall.

Avoid the family or only meet them when her own family was far away and in out of earshot of hearing more about the necklace. She squeezed the necklace and felt herself calm down. Thank God for Ferdinand!

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter**


	9. a meeting of fate

**Hope you all had a pleasant new years eve. I've gone through this chapter sooooo many times, since it's well... THE chapter. The one many prob. been waiting for... however, I am sure you'll be just as eager to recieve the next :P **

**Well... get on with it!****

* * *

**

Chapter 9 – a meeting of fate

Upon entering, after having greeted the hosts, Mary came to where the dancing would take place. A small scene in the back of the room held various music instruments and along the sides there were a few tables and chairs for resting between the dances.

The second room, which was separated from the first by a large archway held many round tables and chairs where people could sit. To one side there was a long table with food in snack size along with punch and other alcoholically beverages.

Upon further inspection of the ballroom Mary noted that it was actually two huge separate rooms, only connected by a vast arch doorway with beautiful curtains pulled to each side, giving just the hint of separation from eating and dancing.

The large family quickly found a table big enough to keep them all and close enough to the food and drink table.

To the left in the dining part a door led to a large balcony that had a connection to the door in the dancing part. From there you could also enter the garden, which consisted of a large maze made out of small bushes, all covered in snow, and which ended by a large lake with a small island in the middle and with the possibility of rowing to it; a true sight to behold.

Or so was the description of Mr. Basiter, a friend of Mr. Bingley who was also invited and had come to greet them all by their table. Mr. Basiter was apparently a friend of the Von Thesen family and had been at the estate enough times to memorise its beauty and to pass it on.

Mr. Basiter's description was quite complete, although Mary could hardly be sure since she had yet to see it herself, but it made her wonder what the lady of the house did. How did she spend her time? Had she ever been in the entire house or were there still rooms undiscovered by her? Mary giggled to herself by the thought of such a big house. Every day a new adventure. If SHE lived there she'd draw a map. Or perhaps the lady already had a map, Mary laughed to herself by the thought of the Machioness looking at a map to find her sleeping chambers.

"That is the eldest son over there," Mr. Basiter explained and Mary looked over to the side where the young Marquess Von Thesen stood. "And his fiancée," and next to him stood a woman. Mary could not make much out of the woman, for she had her back to Mary. Little were said about the two, except that it was arranged marriage and both were madly in love with each other. The conversation moved on and eventually Kitty and Lydia got too bored and said yes to dance with the next who asked.

"Excuse me," a voice interrupted the conversation around the table. Mary looked up and saw the young Marquess standing to the side. He bowed in greeting and for a moment Mary caught his eyes, but looked away in embarrassment, "I…" he said, and Mary felt his eyes upon her, "I-I was wondering if there is anything you need. My family wishes for everyone to enjoy themselves to the fullest," he explained with modesty and people smiled lovingly to him.

"I don't think this night could be more perfect," Mr. Bingley commented and the young Marquess had the grace to blush and bowed humbly. He lingered for a moment and then moved on.

"My, he's seemed quite sweet," Mrs. Bennet was saying when Mary had managed to bury her worry again.

"He almost stuttered," Miss Bingley commented with a giggle along with Mrs. Hurst.

"Perhaps because he saw Mary," Jane giggled lightly and Mary looked up, confused.

"Pardon?" She asked, unsure what they were talking of.

"He was looking at you," Lizzie explained and Mary fended off the hints with a witty:

"Must be my astonishing mask," and people laughed lightly before moving on. Mary spent no time dwelling on the Marquess, for she did not think he had looked at her more than anyone else, and found it all silly. Instead she moved onwards, politely, and blushingly, declining the two invitations for a dance on her way to the balcony.

The air was cool and refreshing when considering the heat from inside. She stared out upon the landscape and realised that Mr. Basiter had been quite right. There was indeed a large maze ending by a beautiful lake. Although Mary would love to explore she soon found the weather to be too cold and went inside again. By her table the young Marquess was again and Mary felt a slight worry in the pit of her stomach. Any mentioning of the necklace could be damaging and she did not like the idea of having to explain herself.

She slipped onto her seat just as Mrs. Bennet was asking if he, the Marquess, was interested in a dance with any of her daughters. The Marquess accepted and Kitty was promptly pushed his way.

"Do remember, Mrs. Bennet, that there is a time for scandals, but it is not with this family and definitely not right now," Mr. Bennet looked at her harshly and Mrs. Bennet had the grace to blush a light pink. Although, Mary quickly realised, it might've been the wine.

As the song ended the young Marquess escorted Kitty to her place and kissed her hand politely, commenting her marvellous dancing skills.

"Miss Bennet," The Marquess turned to her and Mary felt a suck in her naval, "will you do me the honour of the next dance?" Mary tensed.

"I'm sorry-" Mary was about to say that she did not dance, but her mother shushed her quickly and said yes. A moment later Mary was on her way to the dance floor to dance a dance she hardly knew the steps for.

"Please sir," Mary said in complete panic, "I do not dance well!" Mary explained in a frantic whisper as the song began.

"Follow my lead," he instructed professionally and Mary did so. Slowly the pair moved about and Mary, taking care of doing what everyone else did, was relieved that no disaster had been made. Yet.

"May I ask why you don't dance?" He asked as they turned.

In a hushed tone Mary said, "It always ended in disasters when I was younger and now it's sort of become a traumatic experience," he laughed at her, "what?" She demanded to know.

"Nothing, please excuse my bad behaviour," he was still glowing with humour and Mary felt herself laugh lightly in return. Indeed it did seem silly considering the main thing people did at gatherings were to dance.

"What do you do then?" He asked and Mary politely explained that she read books. He nodded gravely, which Mary felt slight anger towards. For her it seemed the Marquess disliked women learning. And then the question of the necklace came and Mary nearly forgot to keep dancing. Quickly she tried to find something to say, but as nothing suitable came up she kept silent and spoke not a word again throughout the dance. The pair parted without many words and Mary, upon reaching her table, was reprimanded for scaring him away.

She wanted to excuse, but she did not know how. And she did not even feel that it was for her to excuse. He had asked, after all, and as such he should apologise. Lizzie, Jane and Mrs. Bennet were the only ones at the table along with Mary when the Marquess came back.

"Mrs. Bennet," he bowed to Mrs. Bennet and briefly acknowledged the others presence. "I accidentally stepped over your daughter's feet earlier as we danced, I feel quite horrible! Might I have a word with her so I can apologise?" Mary frowned, not sure what he was talking about.

Mrs. Bennet looked at Mary and said, "Oh Marquess Von Thesen, please do not be alarmed! Mary cannot dance so I am sure the accident is not fault of yours!" Lizzie and Jane looked at Mary apologetically and made Mary feel slightly better, although, she was still confused as to what the Marquess was talking about. He had not stepped on her feet. Nevertheless, he gave her his arm and she politely took it and let herself be escorted around. For a few minutes no words were spoken, but eventually the Marquess said,

"I deeply apologise for my bad behaviour and for taking interest in business that is out of my concern," Mary looked up at him.

"You're forgiven," she said quietly; in her mind trying to find an excuse that sounded genuine and briefly wondering why he would go through the trouble of lying.

"I asked only because the necklace I have was specially made for me and there should be only one in this world," his voice was casual as if he had no desire to pursue the topic, but merely explaining. But Mary knew he still wanted answer.

"Oh?" She said, feigning interested, "well you know how the world is," she laughed lightly, but with a worried edge to it all, "everything is copied nowadays," she continued and he agreed and the pair fell silent again as they reached the doors to the balcony.

"There was another reason why I asked," he suddenly said and Mary noted that he seemed restless.

"Yes?" She questioned uninspired as they stopped by a large window. A servant passed them with some drinks and the Marquess beckoned the servant over and gave both him and Mary a glass. Mary sipped to the wine while waiting for the Marquess to continue.

"I gave the necklace I had to someone," he said calmly while looking intently at Mary. Mary frowned, waiting for him to continue, but he did not. Instead he watched her until she felt uncomfortable and turned towards the window.

"Perhaps that is how it got copied," she eventually said.

"No, I'm quite sure there is still that one," he stated and Mary turned to him, angry.

"Sir, are you accusing me for-" Mary fell silent. If there really only was this one necklace and he had given the necklace to someone… Mary shook her head. That was simply too silly a notion. The though of Ferdinand could be the Marquess was simply too far out.

"Did you give it to your fiancée?" She recovered and he replied with a simple no. She looked into his eyes; telling herself that she was mistaken. The heat of the room was going to her head. Before she knew it the hall was swimming before her eyes and she felt a hand lead her somewhere where the wind was cold. After a few minutes she felt herself recover from the experience and looked up into the Marquess's eyes.

"This cannot be," she whispered anxiously, "Ferdinand?"

* * *

**Cliffe, I know, but... ahh well yeah, still trying to find out how to tangle everything in. Families, fiancees, Kitty... god that girl annoys me... I'd rather have her married before Mary, or at least engaged... It gives Mary a bit more of a left out spirit somehow... Wait, just had a plan! Brilliant! Ok, got to write now! Bye!**

**Remember to review !**


	10. Decisions

**I would just like to say that I really appreciate that you can overlook whatever grammatical errors you find. I usually go through every chapter carefully, but you know that when you write something yourself it's hard to see the faults in it... Unless they're really obvious.**

**Anyway, I don't have a beta for this story, so if anyone wants to they're welcome to write to me.**

**Once again: I truly appreciate your reviews and your ability to overlook errors and see the story as it is.**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 10 – Decisions**

Mary's mind was spinning out of control. All her feelings and Ferdinand clashed in her mind and she felt dizzy.

"Oh," she gasped quietly while trying to get up, but her mind was reeling and she almost tripped over her own feet. Ferdinand caught her and somewhat far away from her mind Mary heard him ask for a warm blanket from a servant and then moved her from the balcony into the garden to a small bench not far away. Not soon after Mary felt the cold from the weather disappear as she was wrapped in a warm blanket. A few more moments passed by before her vision was clear enough to pick up her surroundings.

She whispered, still out of sorts, "Ferdinand?"

With a light humorous voice he answered, "Yes, Marie?"

"I can't believe it," Mary whispered to herself a few times, barely able to look at him in fear he was not really there. "How is it possible?" Finally she forced her gaze away from her surrounding and to him. He had his mask on still and she gazed into his hazel eyes; for a moment she was about to remove it when she caught her manners.

"Marie," he whispered and looked at her; she met his gaze. "I- I," he let out an astonished laugh and she smiled softly, still too surprised to do much more. For a few moments they sat in silence, calming down till both were ready to continue talking. "When I saw you- when my mother notified me about the necklace… In the entry hall," he shook his head lightly, "my heart just stopped… I was… I could not believe it," he took her cold hands to show his eagerness of her presence.

"I was so nervous that my family would find out," Mary whispered frantically, "I- I never assumed that it might mean it was you," she squeezed his hands lightly, "I was just so nervous that the necklace would be mentioned and my family would ask! And when I saw you by our table…" she let her breath go, "they don't know," she hung her head for a moment before looking up at him, "I never told them… I don't-" Ferdinand held a finger to her mouth.

"Shush, Marie, do not lose your breath again or you might faint," he laughed and she returned it with a nervous laugh of her own. "I never imagined that you would tell your family. I am quite aware of the complications it could lead to," he smiled at her, "it was a gift for you, and you alone. Not for other people to pry in unless you were ready for it to be pried in…" Some minutes passed without either speaking, just enjoying the silence surrounding them.

"Frederic," Mary whispered and she heard him chuckle lightly by her sign.

"Mary," he replied. Silence fell over them yet again, but were disturbed by a high pitched voice calling out,

"Frederic?" Ferdinand stood quickly, surprising Mary who let out a quiet yelp. She looked at him confused. "Frederic, there you are," a woman neared them. She wore a silk dress with feathers, just like her mask, and her hair was pulled into a tight bun. Her stance reminded Mary quite a lot of Miss Bingley. "What's going on?" She stared at Mary coldly.

"A guest was feeling quite uncomfortable so I took liberty in making sure she got fresh air," Ferdinand spoke quietly. The woman's eyes softened from a cold stare to careless. "Miss Bennet, might I introduce Miss Constance Racat, my fiancée, and Constance this is Miss Bennet," he introduced and the two women bowed the heads lightly, although Mary kept hers down and looked at the grown, feeling more than uncomfortable. It took her a moment to realise she was feeling more uncomfortable that she should and she had a strange feeling of deceit and jealousy swelling in her.

Ferdinand said he'd be back in a moment to check on her again and then followed with Miss Racat inside. In meantime Mary took the opportunity to study the new feelings in her. She felt frightened of the jealous feeling in her chest. She feared that she had fallen in love with Ferdinand. The thought of him being engaged was hurting her and she realised that she had, probably, lost the only person she could ever connect with.

Not because of society's influence, but because of another woman.

And she did not like it one bit.

A soft voice called out "Mary?" and Mary looked up.

"Lizzie, I am here," Mary replied calmly to guide Lizzie to her. A moment later Lizzie came into view, looking relieved.

"I've been looking for you. A servant said you felt unwell and that the Marquess took you outside for some fresh air," Lizzie took a seat on the bench. "Are you unwell? Shall I get the carriage?" Mary shook her head.

"I am well now," she replied dull. Lizzie moved a strand of hair out of Mary's face and Mary looked over at her. For a moment Mary was about to completely break down at tell everything to Lizzie, for she was sure she'd know what to do, or how to help, but something held her back.

"Ah…" A voice said in light surprise, "Mrs. Darcy," Ferdinand bowed to them both and both replied with a light nod of their heads.

"Thank you, Sir," Lizzie looked at Mary briefly before meeting the Marquess's gaze again, "for being such a perfect host and take care of my sister," Lizzie smiled.

"Please do not thank me, Mrs. Darcy, it was- It was the least I could do," Ferdinand and Mary's eyes met before Mary looked into the ground again. The feeling of sadness swelled in her chest.

"Come now, Mary, let's get you inside," Lizzie stood and all three moved to the entrance. As they got there Lizzie politely took the blanket from Mary and folded it before giving it to the Marquess, thanking his for his help and generosity.

As Mary sat in the carriage home she wondered about the night. There had been no other opportunities to talk with Ferdinand and her family had kept her close. The fact that they knew she had been unwell had made Lizzie and Jane slightly overprotective and made sure she wouldn't overdo herself more that night.

As she closed her eyes the dance she had with Ferdinand was replayed in her mind. Only this time she was wearing an elegant and stunning dress and as they danced around the ballroom, empty except from them, she spun around and moved about like never before; never breaking eye contact with Ferdinand. As the dance ended he'd kiss her lightly.

Mary went to bed quite tangled up that night. On one side she was trying to act by the norms and figure out how to handle the new development without hurting anybody. But on the other side she realised that she needed him and might be in love and definitely not ready to let him go.

Her sleep was just as tangled as her mind and filled with dancing in ballrooms and gardens. Some of the dances were with Mary and others with the Miss Racat and made Mary angry.

Mary woke up and spent almost half an hour staring out her window while slowly brushing her hair. Her mind felt blank, suddenly unsure if last night's happenings had been dream or reality.

Most of the morning was spent in the library tossing books to the sides in hopes of finding one that could keep her mind away from the night beforeShe had wondered if she should go to the bookstore, but decided not to. She needed to have clear mind and ideas of how to handle things before meeting him.

"Oh Mary! Congratulate your sister!" Mrs. Bennet was squealing as Mary entered the lunch parlour. Mary frowned. "You might soon have ANOTHER married sister!"

"Please mama!" Kitty objected shyly.

"Mrs. Bennet she is not married yet nor have the poor man asked for her hand, so please do not-" Mr. Bennet tried, but Mrs. Bennet shushed him

"Can't a mother dream?" She laughed, "Oh this is so exciting! A young man from last night enjoyed Kitty's company so much that he has asked if he could meet her again!" Mrs. Bennet squealed once more in delight, "and you said the men would all be taken!" She let out a victorious laugh and grabbed some food.

"Congratulations, Kitty," Mary said quietly and Kitty laughed lightly,

"Please, it is just a meeting, nothing more," Kitty spoke calmly. Mary nodded depressed in reply.

The next day went just as dull. Mary tried to find out what to do while desperately trying to find something to occupy her mind while her family was trying to subtly make sure Kitty would soon be engaged. Or that was mainly Mrs. Bennet. Briefly Mary wondered why the man had yet to run away, but as she soon realised the family had put Mrs. Bennet in a leash and made sure she'd stay proper. Another day went with fuss and meetings and soon an entire week had passed without Mary having gone to the bookstore.

"Miss Mary," a servant's voice called from the entrance of the library. Mary looked up. "You are asked for," Mary nodded dull and followed the servant to the sitting room. For a moment she thought Kitty's suitor was visiting, but she quickly realised it was not.

"Mary! The Marquess was so kind to stop by and see if you were feeling better!" Mrs. Bennet said eagerly. "Isn't he kind?"

"I was in the neighbourhood and I decided to check up and make sure," Frederic Von Thesen spoke formally.

"That is very kind of you," Mary bowed gracefully and he returned it.

"Sit down, Mary, and have some tea," Lizzie asked and beckoned Mary closer. "The Marquess said yes to mama's request for tea," Lizzie's smile was somewhat strained.

"It's so dreadfully cold in the winter," Mrs. Bennet said, "a nice cup of tea always does the trick!" she continued and Frederic agreed. "Indeed, it seems much colder this year than last year!" Mrs. Bennet said. "However, it is not as cold here in London as in Longbourn."

"Longbourn?" Frederic questioned and Mary clenched her fists.

"Yes, Mr. Von Thesen," Lizzie spoke up, "that is where my family lives. They're visitors this winter," a brief silence followed.

"Longbourn," Frederic eventually echoed, sounding slightly surprised, "erm, where is that? Isn't that…"

"In the country. Mr. Bingley has an estate there. Netherfield," Mrs. Bennet spoke again. "Such a beautiful place," a short sigh and then the conversation halted.

Curiously Frederic asked, "When are you going back?"

"In a month from now," Kitty answered.

"Oh how we're going to miss it!" Mrs. Bennet cried out.

Eventually all the tea made was gone and Frederic announced that he had to leave, but hoped to see them all again. As he said this he looked at Mary and she gave a brief nod, a promise of the morrow.

As Mary sat on the windowsill in her room, looking out on the crowded street, she looked down upon the necklace in her hand. It was warm and sweaty from having been hold for so long. She sighed tiredly, questions and worries running through her head. How could she ever wear the necklace again? How could she make herself wear something that belonged to a taken man? Despite her regrets Mary quickly realised that society norms had caught up with her and the only proper thing to do was call the bluff of it all. There were no promises in the necklace, she knew that now. Whatever promise of friendship would soon be wiped out when he married, or in fact, it wiped out the moment he got engaged, and so she was slightly behind.

Thus, despite the pang in her heart, Mary decided that tomorrow had to be the last truly honest time she'd ever share with Ferdinand. Despite it all, he was all gentleman and kind, but when it came down to it she was Mary Bennet and he was a Marquess.

Taking advance on the pain Mary went to bed with wet red cheeks and puffed eyes.

* * *

**please review :)**


	11. farewell

**U can't believe how much I appreciate your reviews, they really make me happy. I am pleased that you can look away from any errors considering my Danish background :D**

**It took some time writing this chapter because the first draft was unfinished somehow :)

* * *

****Chapter 11 – farewell**

Hazel eyes had sedated her mind as she slept; kept her in a comforted belief that everything would work out in the end. But as morning came forward the assuring whispers disappeared along with his comforting chocolate brown eyes. For a few minutes she, Mary, sat limply by her bedside, too tired in her mind to focus.

At breakfast no one noticed Mary's quiet demeanour since Kitty had received an urgent letter from Mr. Flarity, her suitor, last night telling that he, Mr. Flarity, would arrive the next morning. The implications were too much for Mrs. Bennet to bear and she broke down in tears every so often by the breakfast table.

"Imagine that! My daughters are married!" She cried happily.

Lizzie tried to say "Please, mama, Mary is still here," but it was to deaf ears. The idea that Mary would never marry was fastened to their minds, no matter how well they did to pretend otherwise.

"Oh if only the regiment would come back! Someone might take her off our hands!" Mrs. Bennet cried out, "but let us not be worried by her; now it is Kitty! This is so exciting! He'll be here around noon you said?" Kitty nodded and the conversation eagerly went on.

"Jane! Really, you must be careful with your figure, you're eating far more than a young lady should!" Mrs. Bennet objected upon noting that Jane was serving herself yet another breakfast. A short glance was shared with her husband and then Mr. Bingley said:

"Actually, we have a little announcement." Mrs. Bennet, who had understood the insinuation, squealed, making everyone winch.

"Mrs. Bennet-" Mr. Bennet tried to calm his wife, but failed miserably.

"Mr. Bennet! Hush! Did you not hear! Jane is with child!" All eyes fell on a blushing Jane, who looked adoringly towards her husband and then eager congratulations went around. "This is indeed a happy day!" Mrs. Bennet said. "I knew those fruits I started making you eat would help!" She continued cryptically, making most believe that she had known it all along and it was somehow part of her plan.

Mary was excited for Jane and Mr. Bingley. From what she knew Jane had wanted a child for some time and now had finally gotten it. But somehow it just added to her frustrations. Suddenly everyone was happy around her making her feel even more miserable. She longed for Longbourn where she could hide in her room and ignore whatever came her way without feeling guilty.

When Mr. Flarity's arrival neared Mary decided to leave. The excitement in the house was getting to her nerves and she had enough to deal with already.

Her room, however, turned out quite unable to calm her down. All she did was pace, waiting for the time to become right; words spinning in endless circles in her head, creating sentences that was proper for what was about to come. When she heard the arrival of Kitty's suitor Mary decided it was time for her to leave, so giving notice to a servant she went for the bookstore.

The store was dim lit in the back since the light hardly reached it and the only things to light it was the few candles one stumbled across. But the dim light suited Mary quite well and she sat down on her usual chair in the corner, wringing her hands in anxiety and once in a while she would check her pocket where the necklace lay heavily, reminding her of who it belonged to originally and who it should return to.

Eventually she moved uninterestedly along the shelves, her mind racing with different scenarios of how it was going to be. She'd do it quickly and then she'd leave… in the back of her mind, a place she was trying to force further back, a scenario continued of him running after her and claiming his undying love for her.

"Marie," a voice from the other side of the bookshelf startled her. "I did not mean to startle you," he whispered and she managed to croak out a reply. "Marie… Mary," he continued in a whisper.

"Listen, I'm glad you asked me to come," she said with a tear-strained voice before clearing her throat in vain. "I want you to have this back," she took out a book from the shelf and pressed her hand inside. She felt his hand on the other side as he accepted the necklace.

"Mary?" He questioned confused.

"I'm sorry, but this belongs to you, and it would be wrong of me to keep it now that I know you have an intended you love," she whispered and pulled her hand back. "I came to tell you," she held her hand to her mouth to keep a sob inside her. "I have to stop this. I care for you, but this cannot continue," she moved away from the shelf and made towards the exit when, at the ending of the shelf, he grasped her hand and forced her to turn. She gave a small gasp in surprise as she stared into his face. He had a certain boyish look over him despite what his age had to be around. His hair was dark brown just like the hazel eyes that had followed her in her dreams.

"Mary?" He asked carefully, worried by her tears, "I don't understand…"

"I- I'm in too deep and know neither up nor down any longer!" She pulled her hand back and ran out of the store. Only when she had gotten back to the safety of her room she let her minds dwell on what had happened. She regretted a little that she had not told him of her feelings. She had needed for him to know and originally she had been about to say that she loved him, but somehow the fear of being ridiculed forced her to take smaller steps, or no steps at all as she turned out doing. Not that it meant anything anymore, she sighed. She had ended it. Ferdinand and Marie was a finished chapter.

Dinner was a quiet affair and so Mary gently asked: "Where is Kitty?"

"She-," Jane took a deep breath, "she is a little sad," Mary looked around the table and saw that her mother looked distinctly passive angry.

"What happened? Did Mr. Flarity propose?" Mary enquired worriedly.

"Who needs his proposal?" Mrs. Bennet suddenly spat in rage, "Well, I certainly would never have Kitty marry such a worthless man! Ha!" She laughed coldly, "such a-"

"Mama!" Jane interfered.

"Mrs. Bennet, please," Mr Bingley spoke up about the incident, "Mr. Flarity is from a rich-"

"We're not good enough for _rich people_?" Mrs. Bennet cut him off with a glare and Miss Bingley looked smug.

"He married me, mama!" Jane stated harshly upon hearing the underlying statement towards Bingley, "but we got to know each other. There's been a lot of pressure on Kitty and this young man, you can hardly expect-"

"I expected that he would treat her fairly and not as a toy!" Mrs Bennet cried out almost sobbing.

"Mrs. Bennet the young man had a right to get to know a woman before marrying her. Obviously something spooked him," Mr. Bennet looked at his wife, "perhaps you should stop trying so hard and let things happen. No wonder the boy ran off after meeting you for a longer period of time," and then, done eating, Mr. Bennet left to take a walk, leaving an upset Mrs. Bennet to the rest of the party. However, not many seconds later Mrs. Bennet took her leave to her chamber.

"I apologise…" Lizzie said.

"Do not worry darling, we all know your mother," a quiet mumble sounded among rest of the people along with a few smiles.

"Well, I do not worry! Kitty is young and shall have plenty opportunities!" Lydia spoke up positively.

"Indeed!" Words sounded and they continued to eat.

Somehow Mary was glowing over this new development. The idea that others were hurt besides her helped her a little and so she went to bed feeling just a little better. The fact that things were sorted out now was also helping to calm her mind. Left was only the feelings she had for Ferdinand, but she knew they'd pass with time. One day she might even reflect and laugh at how silly she was to fall in love with someone like him. But for now she needed to rest her mind and distance herself.

Kitty left her room after a few days, ready to take the world again and so things quieted down. Mrs. Bennet was still quite cold when there was any mentioning of the Flarity family, but so it was understandable. Mary never understood completely what had happened, except that Mr. Flarity had come to visit, like he had promised and what had supposed to be a proposal and been a rejection.

As Kitty said later on she was somewhat happy, for actually she might not have been so in love with him as she had thought. The idea of a rich man liking her had swept her off her romantic feet.

Mary wondered the same thing. Would she too realise that she never liked Ferdinand? She hoped it, despite the light worry somewhere in her that reminded her that she started liking him before she knew who he was.

January swept by with few balls designed for people to brighten up after Christmas and the weather. On a later account Mary had found out that Kitty had told Mr. Flarity how she felt and apologised of her mother's behaviour. Very kind of Kitty, Mary thought. Usually Kitty was not one to think too much forward, but perhaps she had grown a little since most of her life started to revolve around marrying and such.

"What did he say?" Mary curiously asked one evening Kitty, in boredom, had entered Mary's room in their home in Hertfordshire. Kitty looked up and smiled lightly.

"He asked me for an audience and we went to the sitting room," the sun's last rays were setting and the room's light was now only lit by candles; Kitty lowered her voice slightly. "And then he said that he liked me very much, but it was merely as a friend and that he was sorry to have implied anything else…" She took a deep breath and then smiled again. "I understood. I suppose it must be hard for any man to befriend a woman. The ideas from her family would destroy it," Kitty shook her head and laughed. "Mama would take it as a hint right away if any man got too close…"

"Mama can be quite annoying," Mary noted quietly and Kitty agreed heartily.

"The best would be to find a man and once he's secured you could let the family know," Kitty laughed at the silliness, "imagine that, secret dates! Although, it would be quite romantic, would it not?" She let herself fall down on the bed with a dreamish look on her face.

"Indeed, if it could last," Mary muttered slightly put out and Kitty grinned at her.

Objecting, Kitty said, "Don't spoil my romantic dreams with your rational boring talk. Of course it would work! And a lot better chances to secure him than if he had to meet mama first!" The two girls laughed to themselves. "Imagine that: true love," she sighed.

"What makes you think that such a scenario would inspire true love?" Mary questioned in hopes of destroying the small hope Kitty was giving her with her romantic babble.

"I don't know," Kitty shrugged, "but it's supposed to be like that, isn't it?" She looked Mary in the eyes. "I know I remind a lot of Lydia, but I'm not. I know Lydia isn't happy as she could be, and she barely knows it herself," again Kitty sighed, "I might be romantic, but I have ears. I know what people say behind Lydia's back," Kitty sat up. "It is romantic, but," she hung her head, "it was never supposed to be them," for the first time Mary realised that Kitty might not be as silly as portrayed. Or indeed, be silly, but nevertheless able to see what goes on around her and have a small amount of understanding. It hurt her slightly to know her sister's best friend and sister had suffered a cruel fate sprung from romantic ideas.

"Romance should be nice," Mary concluded quietly and then Kitty left for bed just like Mary. Mary supposed that it was indeed quite some tale she had been woven into, but as she had realised tales are often just that: tales, but with little more to offer than hearty entertainment.

* * *

**This was not the ending, don't worry. When I look at it I can see it would be quite a good place to end it :P**

**I know this chapter has little with Ferdinand and Marie, but the point here, I think, was to portray her situation and people around her.**


	12. heart over mind or the other way around?

**Chapter 12 – heart over mind or the other way?**

Things soon settled down in Hertfordshire for the Bennet family. The dealings with people from their own town were enough to take their minds away from whatever had occurred in London. In all, the journey had been described as lovely, interesting, wonderful and all other kind of other positive synonyms. There had been, of course, matrimonial questions and Mrs. Bennet had waved them all off by telling how much Kitty was admired, but favoured none of her suitors enough to enter matrimony and then she, Mrs. Bennet, had promptly moved on to tell about Jane who was now with child and how exited the entire family was on her behalf.

By the time the calendar reached the end of May Lizzie and Mr. Darcy came to visit Netherfield for a brief period of time before moving onwards to Pemperley, extending, of course, invitations for the family to come along.

"Mrs. Bennet do keep your nose to yourself this time, I believe our daughters will have far better luck without you _helping_," Mr. Bennet had commented when the invitations had been extended; but to deaf ears. The vile woman had indeed looked abashed, but all knew she was a good actress and in her shameless mind schemes were being put together in ways of forming a suitable match of her mind, which would primarily consist of a rich man and Kitty.

As Mary sat in the carriage on her way to Pemperley she could not help reflect what had transpired barely half a year ago. It seemed so long ago, and yet everything was so fresh in her mind. It scared her a little, but she had gained quite a little self esteem and she felt more than ready to try and find herself a companion. If the experience she had had with Ferdinand had taught her anything it was not to lose herself, and she was proud to have realised that she no longer harboured any feelings for him and was able to move on in her heart and mind. Quite so, actually, days could pass without her thinking of him and should something come up that resembled the slightest of him she almost felt no pang. Quite proud she was!

And so Mary was actually looking forward to Pemperley and to meet new people, she felt stronger than she had ever felt before!

"Mary, please help me!" Kitty commanded as she barged into Mary's room with Georgiana trailing anxiously behind her.

Looking up from her book worriedly, Mary asked, "What is it, Kitty?"

"Georgiana needs our sisterly guidance!" Kitty promptly sat down on Mary's bed and Georgiana occupied a chair.

"Sisterly advice?" Mary laughed lightly at the idea and Kitty rolled her eyes.

"Lydia isn't here and I doubt she would have anything constructive to say anyway. What we need is someone who reasons!" Kitty informed importantly and paused dramatically.

"Well, go on!" Mary urged.

"Georgiana is out!" Kitty exclaimed and Mary frowned.

"Please," Georgiana begged quietly.

"I thought you already were out in the society," Mary questioned.

"No, not yet. Not officially anyway. But my brother insists that I am old enough and this is the right time!" Georgiana explained and Mary nodded thoughtfully. "He informed me a few months ago, but I've been holding it off quite stubbornly," she nearly whispered.

"Why don't you want to get married?" Kitty asked, "It's not dangerous."

"How do I know it is love and not just for the money? I've never trusted anyone before except my brother," she looked downcast and Mary pitied her, but then again, somehow she felt the same way.

"Well," Mary started out, taking a deep breath, "if the man really likes you he will wait for you," Georgiana nodded, "and so…" Mary said contemplating, "you must befriend them. Eventually you might even fall in love with one and then things shall go smoothly from there," again Georgiana nodded. "Don't worry, we'll help," Mary assured, feeling the urge to do something for her sister.

Taking Georgiana under her wings was not as easy as Mary had somehow made herself to believe, for in real she knew nothing when it came to those parts. Luckily she had Kitty who had provided them with information from Lydia, who, sadly, was not present at Pemperley over the course of the summer. But Lydia proved to be of some help, shockingly. With good advice she told how to distinct men from each other and their desires. She gave tips to be flirtatious and some other quite unfit things.

However, as the three girls became more intimate it did not take long before Georgiana confessed a little secret of her own.

"There is?" Mary asked surprised and Kitty grinned excitedly.

"Tell!" Kitty demanded and Georgiana blushed scarlet.

"Oh please," she begged innocently, "we're friends and I dare not ruin it!" Georgiana confessed anxiously, "but I get a tinkling feeling every time I think of him," she blushed again. "He's the brother of Christina Andrews, a girl that has piano lessons after me with Mrs. Bertram," she explained, "her brother brings her to class and back again and since it's usually just after my lessons I talk with him," she covered her face in a pillow and squealed. The two Bennet sisters giggled excitedly.

When Georgiana had left Kitty turned to Mary and said, "Let's make him fall in love with her. We throw a ball and invite the family! It will be so romantic!" For once Mary did not disagree. The spirit of bonding had gotten to her and she felt giddy and silly. She was looking forward to mixing a little and perhaps, because she herself had failed, she wanted to make it up through Georgiana somehow.

It was not difficult to talk Mr. Darcy into throwing a ball, for though he disliked it he knew that women had a certain age before they were no longer interesting and he wished for Georgiana to have the best choices and chances ever.

"Please, darling, calm down," Lizzie tried to soothe her husband in the entrance hall of Pemperley.

"Calm down, Lizzie. Are you mad? These people, these men! They're here to-" Mr. Darcy uttered some curse word of non intelligence.

"Well you did bring it up yourself, dear, and it's quite alright, she will always have you no matter what," Lizzie said and kissed his cheek after which Mr. Darcy turned to the three unmarried girls.

"If any of you feel uncomfortable do let me know," he stared at Georgiana who smiled gently and kissed his cheek.

"Please, brother, you've taken care of me for so many years, it is indeed time for me to grow up a little," she let out a laugh that seemed both caring and anxious at the same time.

Mary realised that it had to be quite hard to give away a child. On one hand some people, like her own mother, saw it as a sport and on the other hand there were people who saw and felt the emotional in it and had it quite harder. Quite horrible, really!

An hour or so into the ball and things were indeed going smooth for Mary and Kitty's plan. At first they had been introduced to the Andrews family who did indeed seem as nice people, and then they spent a great deal getting to know them, keeping Georgiana close. They succeeded in making Mr. John Andrews, the only male child, to dance with Georgiana, but as they quickly realised they had to let others get a dance too so she, Georgiana, could be sure.

"I am quite exhausted!" Georgiana exclaimed after numerous dances, which even Mary had participated in. Somehow Mary had gotten so wrapped up in helping Georgiana that she had barely noticed her usual unwillingness towards the dances.

As the night wore on the guys seemed to swarm around the three young women, Kitty keeping them all quite entertained with humour and stories.

"He fell off his horse! You should've seen his face!" Kitty laughed silly "Do you remember, Georgiana?" Kitty turned to Georgiana to keep her in the limelight, she blushed lightly.

"Indeed, I've never laughed so much, he was quite humiliated, poor man," Georgiana said and the men surrounding them, and few women, commented and laughed a little, giving stories of their own, although Kitty making sure there would always be a bit of light on Georgiana to keep her in focus.

"My brother once fell off his horse too!" A young woman said with a laugh, "oh dear, you should've seen him! He made me swear not to tell anyone, so please don't let him know I said it," she continued and people laughed, "it was when I was younger, of course, and when he wasn't as good as a rider as he is now…"

"Your brother Frederic, Miss Von Thesen? I can scarcely believe it!" Mr. Andrews laughed and Mary looked up sharply at the name. Quickly her eyes swept over their crowd to the girl who had spoken. Indeed, it was Frederic's sister. She remembered the girl from when they had greeted in the entrance hall at the Von Thesen Estate. She felt worry in her heart, was he here too? She felt panic rise in her and excitement and a certain feeling of mixed hope and love.

"Is your brother here?" She managed to croak out.

"Lord no! My father is making him to business in another country," Miss Von Thesen sighed.

"Oh yes, he broke off the engagement, did he not?" Another asked curiously and Miss Von Thesen nodded making Mary force herself to take a slurp of her drink to calm herself.

"Oh yes! I think it was dreadfully sweet of him! He said he did not love her and did not wish to hold her in a marriage without love! My father did not take it well, that's why he sent my brother to do business in another country," another sigh.

"Please, Ladies, we're in a society where love it a futile thing," a young man spoke up.

"Indeed, but how can one be in a marriage with someone they don't love?" Kitty spoke him fiercely.

"Better than to be poor," Another voice said and the debate moved heatedly on for quite a while.

"Very well, I realise that love comes first, but if you don't experience it one could settle for less. Mind over heart sometimes," Mr. Andrews spoke.

"Is that how you see it?" Georgiana questioned surprised.

"No, I would never take you for your money," Mr. Andrews said chocked.

"What made you think I was referring to me?" Georgiana questioned and Mr. Andrews fell silent. A few scattered laughs sounded along with a whistle and Mr. Andrews turned scarlet and cleared his throat.

"I-um…" He stuttered.

"Well, I agree somewhat," Georgiana said, sparing him for the embarrassment, "I believe that sometimes one could enter out of necessity and perhaps friendship can turn to love, but, I think above all else, one must put heart over mind," there were nods and consents around and the discussion and moved to a little less deep.

Mary did not stay much longer for what she had been told by Miss. Von Thesen had upset her quite a lot. Ferdinand was no longer engaged. She nearly fainted in her room as the implications sank in and she had to sit down. She looked out the window and wished with all her heart that he loved her as she, in this moment allowed herself to admit, loved him.

* * *

**I think this chapter was a bit... well... I was unsatisfied with it, but realised that I had to post it because I needed something to transpire that wasn't Mary and Frederic, something that could take up a little time... I realise I cannot write a SHORT story, I am simply incabable of it, I knew it in school when we wrote essays, so this story might end up in more chapters than I had anticipated and perhaps hoped for... ahh well, as long as you enjoy it.**


	13. Mr Fryar

**Chapter 13 – Mr Fryar**

In all the fuss regarding Georgiana's entry to the society on the official plan and the less official and more private details of her, Georgiana's, wishes for a husband along with the news of Ferdinand Mary was in quite the state of stress. To top that there had gone sport in what they were doing. At first it had been to primarily help Georgiana find a suitable husband, but soon it developed into a full scale patrol system that weighed and turned every single man they met, focussing on his looks, his moves and place in society, and his personality towards general people and friends. It was hard work and had turned into quite the detective work, but left Mary drained and unready for anything too personal, such as Ferdinand.

Then there was Kitty. Kitty had become quite eager towards marriage scaring Mary a bit. The young woman had expressed a clear interest to find someone she could love and marry soon as possible and in all her eagerness she had asked,

"Are you not interested at all? In marriage, I mean?"

Was she, Mary, interested in marriage? She wondered. Sure it was fun helping Georgiana, but that was Georgiana and not herself. Was she ready to bind herself to someone? The more Mary mused over this the more she started to believe that she might not be ready for marriage at all. For someone who had always lived in the shadows being suddenly pulled out and asked about everything and having her opinion valued was huge and groundbreaking. Suddenly there were people, primarily Kitty and Georgiana, but also the people they were surrounded by at parties, listening to her. It was a new experience and she felt uncomfortable with the attention and she wondered if she was ready for the sole attention from a suitor. Could she overcome it? Could she live up to his and her own expectations?

And then, of course, there was the Big Question itself.

What did it mean that Ferdinand was no longer engaged?

She had assumed, or hoped more like it, that she was the reason for the abandonment, and that he was, in this very moment, galloping through the country claim his love to her. But when she had given it more thought she had realised that she might not be the reason. The reason could be quite simple: he did not love his fiancée and so he broke it off.

She might not have a part of it at all. And if she did she might just have affected him like he had affected her and matured her. She might just have made him realise something deep about himself. He could even have gone and become a monk!

In all, he might not even have thought of her when he broke off the engagement and he might even have someone else on his mind, if he hadn't become a monk. She might not have a place in it at all and might never get one. The lack of letters from him only secured her idea that her part in the break up was more passive than active and although he might not have her explicit address he knew where she was from and that would be quite enough, despite him being out of town.

As such: were Ferdinand in love with Mary and wanted her he would have contacted her.

She had not been contacted.

In the painful realisation, especially after that fateful night where she had found out about the break-up and had realised her love towards him, Mary found herself becoming more fragile as time passed by. The emotional stress was plundering through the sky, still moving upwards and with no intentions of otherwise.

All the focus on marriage was making her feel lonely, and though she did not feel ready she realised that she might never be ready, at least not in time, and so there was no time to dwell.

It was in the end of June when Mr. Andrews made his move and Georgiana readily accepted. The following parties that were hold were more of a way to show how the pair worked in society together and for others to mingle.

It was on that occasion when Mary caught herself weighing and turning the men, like she had done to help Georgiana, although this time it was after her interest. She was reaching 21 at her next birthday and though she did not look too old she did not hold a beauty that shone through her like several of the women she knew. And those that she had gotten to know, who not beauties were either, had their money to support them and could settle it through that.

But as she had no money Mary started to realise that her mother might've been right. Mary would become an old spinster. Oh, if only she had started out earlier! The thought of settling with someone from the regiment scared her and she was sure she was not that desperate. Also, she knew it would make Lydia take more interest in her if their husbands were from the regiment.

Oh the horror! Imagining Mary and Lydia in a small and filthy sitting room drinking tea! And the lack of intellectual stimulation!

When Mary reached her usual crowd of people greetings politely went around and she replied just so, although, her mind was watchful as she greeted the men, trying to find out if any of them might be an option.

"Miss Bennet I presume," a male voice greeted and Mary turned to a young man. He was already filling out a bit and had the tiniest hint of moustache. His eyes were small considering the size of his face, but, as decorum asked, Mary greeted him with a smile and even smiled when he kissed her hand.

"And who might you be, Sir," She asked politely when they had ended their greetings.

"My name is Anthony Fryar," he gave another little bow, which Mary followed. "I couldn't help but wonder why someone as beautiful as you is not dancing," Mary blushed by the compliment and the young man smiled self satisfactory, which reminded her briefly of Mr. Collins

"Oh, sir," she laughed lightly, "I am not one for dancing really," she let him know and he nodded.

"Indeed, I myself get quite tired from just one dance!" He informed and Mary forced herself to smile compassionately, despite thinking that she might know why he was so tired after just one dance.

As the night wore one Mr. Fryar was clinging to Mary's side everywhere she went, forcing her to introduce him to her friends. Inside herself she had the greatest wish to say that she had just met him and he was clinging onto her and she couldn't get rid of him. But decorum kept her mouth shut. Except to Georgiana and Kitty, who found it all hilarious!

Now she knew how Lizzie felt with Mr. Collins.

By the time the party ended Mary was more than relieved to finally see the backside of Mr. Fryar and pointedly ignored any comments from Georgiana and Kitty.

However, Mr. Fryar's backside was not gone for many days, nor was his front - obviously, and merely 3 days after the ball he came to the Pemperley estate looking quite important.

"Mr Darcy," He greeted first after which everyone else was greeted.

"To what do we owe this visit?" Mr. Darcy asked and Mr. Fryar pulled out a letter.

"I have come to personally deliver an invitation for a ball this Saturday. I felt it would be a nice gesture to go around to everyone myself instead of sending a servant. To personalise it a little," he smiled a little piggy smile that made his face swell up and his eyes become smaller.

"Indeed?" Mr. Darcy commented, "Well we're more pleased to be able to accept," He then informed and the visit was over.

Mary was not quite sure what she thought of this upcoming ball. Something about Mr. Fryar worried her, but she quickly let it go when Kitty barged into her room with a letter from Lydia who was, apparently, coming to Pemperley on an urgent visit.

"Lydia! Oh dearest Lydia!" Mrs. Bennet cried out when Lydia arrived by the time dinner was ready the very same day the letter had arrived. A calm Lydia stepped out, her head high, and her mouth tight. She smiled vaguely as she greeted people, her usual enthusiastic self hidden far away. As the family had eaten dinner Mr. Bennet took it upon himself to ask Lydia for a private meeting and the pair went to the library. Some ten minutes later Mr. Bennet came back looking tired and mournful.

"It seemed Lydia has finally grown up," he announced.

"She's pregnant!" Mrs. Bennet beamed ecstatically, but Mr. Bennet merely shook his head.

"Much worse, Mrs. Bennet, much worse," he moved to the window as all eyes followed him, "she is no longer ignorant of the lack of bliss in her state of matrimonial situation. From Mr. Wichham's side, anyway," he added and the sighed.

"Oh dear," Jane whispered.

"Poor girl," Lizzie agreed with sadness.

"But I don't understand! What do you mean with LACK of bliss? Lydia loves him and he loves her!" Mrs. Bennet cried out impatiently.

"Please, Mrs. Bennet, for you daughter's sake think rational. How you could ever believe Mr. Wickham could be a gentleman when he persuaded her to elope. No man is a gentleman if he does that!" Mr. Bennet spoke harshly. Mrs. Bennet fell into a contemplative silence and after a small amount of time she left the room to seek out Lydia.

To say things were pressed was an understatement. Kitty, who was usually always with Lydia, had barely spent time with her, for Lydia was in no mental state to see anyone, and so she, and Mary and the rest, could only hope that her state of shock would soon withdraw.

As the days passed Lydia came out of her hiding as was ready to talk about things. Her marriage with Wickham had luckily not turned violent, but it had been close, which had opened her eyes, amongst other things.

After a month's time coming home late from duty Lydia had decided to surprise her darling husband at work, but at the camp she had been told that he had been let off hours ago and so her search began, ending at a sleazy pub in a room with another lady.

But it was not just any lady. It was a whore and, Lydia had only informed Kitty of this who had then whispered to Mary, Lydia had said he could make love to her anytime and not with a whore. He had called her a stupid and ignorant child. He had told her he did not love her and never had done. The entire truth had been spilled.

Even Mr. Darcy's role.

And although Lydia at first had been angry with Mr. Darcy she had realised that, as she sat in the carriage towards Pemperley, he had done it for a reason, and in a way she had been grateful.

Nevertheless, Lydia's childish mind was covered in hurt and shame and it would take a while to find herself again.

"Are you going to divorce him?" Kitty questioned.

"Oh, I don't know!" Lydia sighed heavily, "I do believe so," and that was the end of that conversation. There were no silly comments about finding a new rich man or flirt around.

By the time it was Saturday Lydia's spirits rose significantly. As she herself pointed out it had been quite a while since she had had the amusement of balls and took great pleasure in taking good care of her looks. The atmosphere was subsided as the family left for the ball, but barely ten minutes into the ball the heavy atmosphere lifted and was replaced by an amiable one.

"This is our sister, Lydia…" Kitty introduced and continued slightly chagrined "- Wickham." Lydia greeted everyone enthusiastically and Mary was relieved to see that the happy façade she had worn most of the time since she had arrived had been replaced with a more genuine one and acceptable.

"I trust you all are faring well?" A voice politely interrupted and the small crowd of friends turned to greet their host. He was a large man, like his son, but where his son was short in height, which did not favour him and his weight, the father was tall making him look less… piggy. However, the two shared the same trait of eyes which both held something self important in them and selective.

"Very well, Mr. Fryar," Georgiana said politely and Mr. Fryar nodded and smiled before moving off leaving his son, Thomas John Fryar, whom had stayed by Mary throughout the last ball.

"How do you like life at Pemberley?" Mr. Fryar asked Mary once the conversations had begun again.

Mary, slightly surprised and embarrassed to be asked so quickly without having readied herself for the spotlight, managed to stutter, "Quite well, thank you Mr. Fryar."

"Please, call me Thomas," Asked Mr. Fryar and Mary politely agreed, though she herself did not ask for the favour in return. "Mary, would you please honour me with a dance?" He asked, but Mary politely declined, although in vain, for the young man continued throughout the night to pester her until she agreed to one dance.

"It seems you've got a suitor," Georgiana whispered to Mary and Kitty when Mary had managed to get back to them again.

Laughingly Kitty said, "and quite a catch too!" Kitty giggled again and Georgiana made a wry face, too polite to agree with Kitty and yet unable to keep a straight face.

Mary frowned, "Mr. Fryar seem like a very nice gentleman," Mary commented, deciding to let it be that. She had no intentions to go into a talk about him, especially not at Mr. Fryar's own party. It did not take more than half an hour or so before Mr. Fryar had somehow wormed his way to Mary's side once more and were laughing along with everything said and enjoying himself immensely. Upon leaving, which was none too early for Mary's taste, and she respectfully and dutifully paid her farewells to her hosts, commenting on the party and the fun she had had.

However, if Mary in any possible way found herself thinking, and hoping, that this was the last time she had seen the Fryar family, especially the son, she could never have been more wrong.

* * *

**If any of you have seen/read Mansfield park then one of the sisters is married to a man and then later cheats on him with the charismatic and hot guy, whom I can't remember what is called either... Is it Julia her name is?**

**Anyway, hardly matters, there is only 1 sister married and it is her husband I had in mind upon writing this chapters. Someone who might be from the rich society, but have little else to offer than money, intellectually, personality and looks...**

**Review **


	14. A Mrs Fryar

**Chapter 14 - A Mrs. Fryar**

**Many of you have been telling me that Lydia should not divorce Wickham since it was not good in their time… I know :) You will see it in this chapter…**

"Absolutely not! Are you out of your mind girl?!" The harsh words criticised coldly from the other room. Mary and Kitty was sitting on the staircase, listening in to what was happeing.happening. Lydia had gone to Mr. Bennet to ask for a way to get rid of Wickham and in her eager she had proposed divorce.

"But papa!" Lydia's tearstained voice begged.

"Mr. Bennet, she cannot stay with a man who is like Mr. Wickham! I am sure we can afford…" Mrs. Bennet tried.

"Afford?" Mr. Bennet laughed humourlessly, "even if we DID have money enough I would still not give her a divorce!" He spat in anger. "Lydia you little fool! Have you even considered what the consequences were if you got divorced? Or perhaps you can think you can keep it a secret and go flirt with other men?"

"I am not old!" Lydia interjected quietly.

"Old! That has nothing to do with it! You're tainted! No man with dignity and respect to himself and his family would ever take you in! And to believe you could keep it a secret – that is not possible!"

"But-" Lydia tried.

"There are no buts!" Mr. Bennet nearly yelled. "You want to bring more scandals to this family? You want to make it even more difficult to get your sisters married? Have you even thought beyond your own selfish needs and looked what might happen to everyone else's reputation?" Silence fell upon the room.

"Mr. Bennet," Mrs. Bennet said in tears, "something must be done."

"Yes, Mrs. Bennet, you're absolutely right, something must be done. Something will be done," movement sounded from the room, "Now Lydia you will go to your room and pack your things. Then you shall go back and live with your husband."

"Mr. Bennet!" said Mrs. Bennet in horror.

"Papa!" Cried out Lydia in tears.

"I will not hear more of this!" Mr. Bennet silenced them both, "Lydia you foolish child! You made your bed now lie in it! Stop being a child! You have pointed out so many times before that now you're an adult! ACT LIKE ONE!" And with that Mr. Bennet's steps were heard coming to the door leading to Mart and Kitty. He entered and looked at the two girls stiffly and then moved on. From the room he had just come from, Lydia and Mrs. Bennet were crying and Mary and Kitty decided to leave not knowing what else to do.

The following hours were mute and uncomfortable at Pemberley. Lydia had not gone to pack her things but had merely gone to cry in her bed. After an hour and still not having met up in the entrance hall Mr. Bennet went to her, which ensured another argument and more tears. In the end Lydia's trunk had been packed by Mr. Bennet, and none too careful, and this sent down to the carriage. Lydia had then been forced out of her room and into the carriage herself, under much protest and tears, but eventually the carriage had moved on.

Two of Mr. Darcy's men in the carriage with her to make sure she got to Wickham.

Dinner was quite an uninterested affair and no one of the family stayed for long but moved to each of their respective rooms.

A few days passed with the uncomfortable silence, which was eventually broken when an unexpected visitor arrived, asking for an audience with Mr. Bennet.

"Mary, Mary! Come quickly!" Mrs. Bennet voice called from the hallway before the woman herself burst through Mary's door. Mary looked up surprised.

"Mama?" Mary questioned confused.

"Oh my dear, dear girl! This is such a happy day! Who would've thought?" Mrs. Bennet cried out, "You have a visitor," she looked pointedly at Mary, who frowned, "who has asked of a private meeting with you!" Mary stood immediately. Ferdinand. He had come! She rushed through the hallways to the sitting room where he was and ran right into her father.

"Papa, I'm sorry," she apologised, but he merely smiled and patted her head, before he moved aside so she could get in. Mary quickly stepped in. And froze.

"Mr. Fryar-" Mary said confused upon seeing Mr. Fryar standing by the fireplace looking quite self satisfied.

"My dear Miss. Mary!" He spoke highly when the door had been closed, leaving the two alone in the room. He moved to her and took her hands. "I knew from the first look at you that you should be mine! You do not have the astonishing beauty or elegance as other women, and that is why. You and I are so much alike! From the first glance at you I was taken!" He kissed her hand lovingly and she would've moved away had she not been so shocked.

"I- I don't understand," Mary said, not even registering any of the words he had said to her, but hinting that Ferdinand wasn't there. How could she be so stupid to believe HE would be there?

"My dear Miss Bennet I've asked your father for your hand and he agreed! I must say you've done quite well to get me, but that is nothing of matters, our love matters! It only gave me strength to hear how quick you hurried to see me here," he laughed and held her hand a little tighter.

"I do not believe I've ever had so much fun as I've had with you and the few balls we've attended. We stayed by each other's side and- well I can't even express my feelings!" He once again laughed. "I see you can't either, my darling!" He said, caressing her cheek.

"You are all astonishment!" He laughed at her frozen expression and then moved towards the door, "I know you are surprised, but I am quite sincere! Now I must go to my father and let him know you said yes!"

"Oh Mary I am so happy for you!" Lizzie entered the room and so did the rest of the family, all eager to pay their best wishes. But inside Mary she was in a complete daze. Some of her wanted to cry out at her own stupidity to believe that Ferdinand had come for her and some of her wanted to scream no at Mr. Fryar. But when she came to, her family had surrounded her with well wishes and she felt overpowered by the happiness. Without paying her thanks she left them for her room where she fell asleep before even thinking about what had happened. It had surely just been a dream.

Mary woke up not many hours later and upon contemplating what had happened she decided to see her father. She could not enter into marriage with Mr. Fryar.

"Father, may I speak to you?" Mary asked from the doorway to the library where her father was sitting and reading a book.

"Of course Mary," He said with a huge smile, "I must say I am proud of you," he commented when she occupied a chair.

"Please, papa," Mary asked. "I have come to talk to you about Mr. Fryar. I cannot marry him! I wished I had spoken earlier, but I was too astonished!" Mary said and met her father's eyes. Mr. Bennet stood and began to pace.

"Mary I know you must be surprised and it is just your nerves talking," Mr. Bennet said calmly, but with an edge.

"No, father," Mary begged seriously. "I do not love him!"

"Mary, do you have any idea what this means?" Mr. Bennet stated harshly and Mary fell silent, "Mr. Fryar is from a family of fortune and he will be able to provide for you. The chances of another offer are slim, if any at all!" Mr. Bennet moved to his child, "My dear child, you are soon twentyandone and this is your first offer, it cannot be rejected. Your parents cannot provide for you much longer," he looked at her sincerely, "this is for the best child."

"But I don't love him, I'd rather become a spinster!" Mary said forceful and her father cocked an eyebrow at that.

"Your mother and I cannot provide for your future any longer, Mary, time to move on. You will learn to love him," Mr. Bennet said calmly and Mary left. However, this was not the last objection from Mary for as things began to sink more in she began to protest even more.

Not long before Mr. Fryar was coming to visit Mary had another protest towards the marriage.

"Would you rather marry a redcoat?" Mr. Bennet answered one of her other objections. "This man can at least provide you with the intellectual needs you have!"

"He can buy them, but he hardly understands them himself!" Mary objected.

"End of discussion Mary. This is an offer you don't throw away. I am doing this for you!"

"Mary, Mr. Fryar is here!" Mrs. Bennet called and Mary was forced to go great him.

"My dear," he kissed her hand and she smiled insincerely. "It is quite a lovely day, Mary. Will you favour me with a walk?"

"Of course she will!" Mrs. Bennet cried out eagerly and then pushed the pair out of the door. What scared Mary the most was perhaps that Mr. Fryar did not seem bothered by Mrs. Bennet's constant pushing.

"You have such a loving family, my dear," Mr. Fryar spoke as they moved through the gardens. Mr. Fryar stood for the speaking and Mary for the listening, but as they reached the pond Mary could no longer keep it in her.

"Mr. Fryar," she turned to him and she looked at her with his questioning piggy eyes.

"Yes dear?"

"Please, I cannot, I am truly sorry, but if it is okay with you I ask to be released from our engagement," Mr. Fryar's face froze. "I cannot marry you."

"Don't tease me, my dear" He recovered and laughed and Mary shook her head. "Miss Bennet you made me believe that you loved me!"

"I've done no such thing!" Mary objected.

"Your father shall hear of this! You must not be thinking straight! Illness" Before Mary could object Mr. Fryar was already moving hastily towards the house. "Mr. Bennet!" Mr. Fryar called.

"Yes?" Mr. Bennet asked just as Mary entered.

"Your daughter asks to be released from our engagement," everyone fell silent and looked at Mary.

"Mary, come here," Mr. Bennet walked out the room and Mary obediently followed.

"Father," Mary said but he hushed her with a hand.

"You will marry Mr. Fryar and that is final. Should you not agree you shall no longer be welcome in this family. What you get can here is a one in a life time opportunity-"

"Because I am so ugly?" Mary cried out harshly, "and old? I am nothing worth and should simply settle with what I can! YOU KNOW NOTHING!" Mary cried out and hurried to her room.

"Mary?" Lizzie and Jane entered some 15 minutes later. "Father told Mr. Fryar that the heat had drained you and you were delirious…"

"The engagement is still on," Jane supplied.

"I don't want to marry him! He revolts me!" Mary stated angrily.

"Mary!" Jane said shocked. "Have you even thought what this mean? Don't throw away this chance!"

"Jane is right; you should see this as a blessing!" And the two sisters left, leaving Mary to fume that the cat was indeed out of the bag. People did indeed believe her unable to capture any man and were sure she'd become a spinster.

"I must stop living in this fairytale," Mary said to herself which a hint of tiredness. She was still waiting for Ferdinand to come and she had even told her father that he knew nothing. Nothing of what? Of Ferdinand? What was there really to know? She sighed tiredly and went to bed.

The forthcoming days were strained. It was no longer Mr. Bennet who was now aware of Mary's disagreement to the marriage but the entire family. Every once in a while her mother would exclaim:

"Oh Mary! This is your chance or you will end up all alone!"

Georgiana and Mr. Andrews had chosen mid July to keep their wedding. Although it was only within a few weeks both had agreed that they wanted a summer wedding and so it had been decided.

"When will you and Mr. Fryar marry, Mary?" Kitty questioned at breakfast one morning.

"I don't know… Perhaps in some months," Mary said quietly.

"Oh rubbish!" Mrs. Bennet cut in quickly, "Mary, you cannot have a wedding in the winter! You'll get sick! And we cannot wait till next year! Far too long for that! You know, I've been thinking, August is perfect! Not too hot and not too cold!" She looked very satisfied and Mary glanced at her father, who was looking sternly at her.

"That sounds like a good idea," Mr. Bennet spoke while looking at Mary pointedly.

In quiet agreement Mary said, "Yes, that sound good," and then made to leave the table.

"Remember, Mr. Fryar is visiting, he's taking you out," Mr. Bennet called after Mary and she briefly halted.

"Yes, father," she then said and continued to her room. Mary longed to see Ferdinand, to have him advise her, and the thought of writing to him occupied her mind, but she knew not where to send it to. She did not know where his father had sent him on business, or what she should write to him at all.

"Mary! Mr. Fryar is here!" Kitty called and Mary sighed and left her room.

"Mr. Fryar," She greeted and tried to keep up a smile. They greeted and then excused themselves and left for a ride around in the carriage.

"It is truly beautiful out here," Mr. Fryar commented, "but I shall be quite sure you will like our home very much," he grinned at her confidently and she smiled lightly.

"Indeed, sir," she agreed quietly and turned her face to look at the nature as they slowly rode past.

After few minutes Mr. Fryar said, "I am glad you are well," and Mary looked at him somewhat confused before realising what he was referring to.

"Yes… yes I'm well," she replied and silence fell upon them again. The silence continued for another few minutes before Mary asked, "Do you read any books?"

"Well," he said contemplating, "I read the bible…"

"Other than the bible?"

"No," he replied simply.

"What do you occupy your time with?" Mary then tried, hoping that they just had one thing in common.

"I like to play cards," he said after another minute of contemplated silence.

"Cards?" Mary questioned with a pang. "Cards? At parties or… when you're alone?"

"Oh cards can be so much fun, Miss Mary! You mustn't make it sound so horrific!" He laughed lightly, "I guarantee you that I know every single game there is to play, single as multi! And I've even invented my own!" He grinned proudly and from the pocket conjured a pack of cards. "These I my special cards, I have them on me all the time. They bring luck!" He promised her and Mary stared at him in horror.

"Let us find a spot where we can hold our picnic and then I shall teach you!"

"Oh, Mr. Fryar, you really don't have to bother," Mary assured him, but he shook his head.

"Do not be worried, my love," he told her and Mary internally cringed by the name. "I even know a few magic tricks!" Mary clenched her fists, her nails digging into her flesh painfully. He was acting as if she was a little child, eager to see a magic show.

Not many minutes later they found a spot for their picnic and Mr. Fryar quickly set it up. And so went the new couple of hours with food and magic tricks and card games while Mary desperately tried to convey to him that she had no interest whatsoever in it. Things were not looking good at all

* * *

Long chapter, I know :) neeeeway, please review. Don't worry, Ferdinand is not out of the picture.


	15. Welcome back

**Argh! You've all asked WHY Elizabeth didn't stick up for Mary, but the answer is simple… I mean, no one thinks Mary capable of getting another offer so this is a once in a life time opportunity. As much as she wants Mary happy the chances are truly slim. Mary is not as beautiful as Lizzie and Jane and is not as lively as Lydia and Kitty. She doesn't like balls, which would exclude her for many opportunities to meet a man… This offer was the best way to secure, if not love to her husband, at least the chance to have money and better opportunities…**

**I got a new beta Rachel/Dark Rose who has been so kind to go through my chapters. Also, the document sorta fucked up a bit due to Hotmail, so if you see weird signs just ignore them.**

Also, on a more personal account I've recently split up with my boyfriend whom I've been dating for almost 2 years. It was simply just time to move on and we both thought so, though still liking each other, but more as friends. It, however, have meant and will mean that I will perhaps be less active. While I am not sad of not dating him any longer it has been tough to become single after so much time. I simply don't know what to do with myself. Does this make sense? I am sure those who have tried it knows the feeling.

And as such I tend to indulge in reading instead of writing, and might read a lot more than write in the upcoming month. I promise it won't be long, I just need the break up a bit away from me and sort out my feelings. On top of that this year is my last year in school so I have to study extra hard.

Anyway, now you know and I promise never to abandon this story or let the chapters come along too slow :-) see ya!

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 15 – Welcome back**

Mr. Darcy was indulging more in Georgiana as time moved closer to her wedding. She was given everything she wanted, and didn't want, and there was no way to stop it. As Lizzie had pointed out, Mr. Darcy was simply anxious to lose his sister. And as Georgiana pointed out then, he was not really losing her.

By the time the wedding was to take place everyone seemed to have calmed down within themselves. Mr. Darcy was calm knowing he had given her as much as he could and would not regret denying her anything and the rest were happy that the wedding was finally taking place and there would be no more stress.

Georgiana was truly beautiful as she stood by the altar with Mr. Andrew. She was wearing a richly satin dress in white and had lent her deceased mother's wedding tiara, which wasn't as fancy as the name stated; it was small and made of gold and meant to keep the hair in one place. It was perfect between all the white.

"Soon that shall be you, my dear," My Fryar said from Mary's side and she clenched her jaw and smiled tightly to him. Was that really her soon? She wondered while looking at Georgiana as the priest began to speak. Mary had given her wedding very little consideration, her mother had primarily been the coordinator and somehow she truly did not care. Then again, Mary mused and looked at Mr. Fryar, she was getting married to this man and she knew now there was no way around it. Should she not partake in it? Should she not at least get a good memory from it? Should the memory be herself in some horrid dress her mother had found?

With a sigh Mary glanced at her future husband again. There had to be some good about him she could like. He was honest and polite, and while his intellect was lacking he knew how to entertain. Or at least were very eager to try to.

Could she love him? Would she eventually fall in love with him?

"Miss Mary, are you listening? They're almost done," Mr. Fryar spoke quietly to her, returning her to reality and Mary looked up at Georgiana just as the priest announced them Husband and Wife.

The party afterwards was a calm affair for Mary. She spent most of her time just following Mr. Fryar, or the other way around, barely talking but contemplating if she dared give up on Ferdinand; or if she was ready to give up what she was sure was her true love.

"Mary, are you not the least bit excited?" Lizzie questioned Mary suddenly and Mary looked up.

Thoughtfully Mary said, "I don't know what I am," she looked towards Mr. Fryar, who had for a few minutes gone to talk with someone he knew.

"I am sorry for everyone having been so harsh on you," Lizzie spoke and Mary looked at her sister. "I know what it feels like when people want you to marry someone you don't want to…" She smiled a little sad, "but imagine this," the linked her arm with Mary's and they began to circle. "Giving up Mr. Fryar and never find another rich man; and by that I don't mean you should give up love, but Mary, are you in love with anyone?" They came to a halt and Mary pushed the ache far away as she answered:

"No."

"I don't want to see you desperate," they continued to circle, "and while Mr. Fryar might not be the love of your life he can and will provide you with everything you want. A grandeur piano-forte," Lizzie laughed lightly as Mary's eyes lit up for a moment, "books," she then continued. "You deserve to get those things, for you do not care about much else, and it would truly be sad to see you married to some redcoat just because you eventually became desperate," Lizzie squeezed Mary's arm for a second. "To someone who could not provide you with the things you need."

"I know Lizzie," Mary said almost tiredly, "and you're right. This is probably my only chance for a rich man and indeed he can provide for me."

"And Mr. Fryar is kind, you cannot deny that, Mary," Lizzie pointed out and Mary nodded.

After talking with Lizzie Mary felt slightly lighter, somehow. She understood her family's reaction, despite how painful it was. But it was the truth and she since she doubted she'd ever fall in love with a redcoat it was either that or a rich man whom she did not love either. And so, Mary decided that she would marry Mr. Fryar and try to love him. It was the least she could do.

Slowly the days passed, eventually bringing Georgiana back from her honeymoon and then it continued towards the 21st of August, which was the day that had been decided to hold the wedding. Most things had already been taken care about, so left was mainly the food to be prepared and Mary's dress, which she still had to find. However, Lizzie, still feeling slightly bad for having been harsh to Mary in regards of Mary's objections to the marriage, had decided to take Mary out with Jane and find some proper dressing.

"This is your wedding, no matter how you feel. Take control," Jane had said and so Mary had slowly engaged in the wedding frantic and selectively looked for a proper dress. In the end she found one that suited her the most. It was quite loose from under the breasts and down and then had a very small train.

"You look beautiful," Lizzie informed truly when she looked at Mary.

"We need something for your hair too," Jane pointed out and began curiously to look through the shop for accessorise. By the time they were done they'd found things to keep Mary's hair up in a pretty way and a bridal veil that could be attached to her hair.

They moved through town, window shopping a bit as they moved onwards towards the Inn from where they would get their carriage to Pemperley again.

At the Inn they had a brief lunch before Mary checked through her bags to see if she had everything while Lizzie went to order a carriage.

"Jane, Mary, there is no need to call for the carriage, we've been offered a ride back," Lizzie said smiling as she came back to them. "Let's go," she asked and they all left the Inn. "Marquess Von Thesen was nice to offer us a ride back to Pemperley," Lizzie said as they rounded the corner where the carriage was waiting. Mary froze. Ferdinand.

"Mary? Comin?" Lizzie called and Mary slowly started moving again to the other side of the carriage where a young man was helping Jane and then Lizzie into him. Their eyes met before Mary looked into the ground and stepped into the carriage, her head swimming.

"This is very kind of you, Sir," Jane said as the carriage took off.

"Please, it was my pleasure," Ferdinand spoke and Mary dared a quick glance at him. He looked at her and their eyes met. He cleared his throat. "Congratulations with Miss Georgiana getting married, Mrs. Darcy," he said and Mary turned her gaze to the window, unable to figure out how to talk to him.

"Yes, thank you. It was a very lovely ceremony!" Lizzie smiled happily, "soon my sister will be walking down the isle too," Lizzie continued and Mary looked up sharply to see Ferdinand's reaction. He looked at Mary, surprised.

"Are you, Miss Mary? What a happy event," Mary looked at him with all she could muster and hoped to convey the truth. He frowned briefly at her actions and then asked, "With whom?"

"Mr. Fryar," Jane said calmly and Ferdinand shrugged insecurely.

"I think I know who that might be," re replied almost thoughtfully. The carriage came to a halt and the Marquess stepped out and then helped the ladies out. As Jane and Lizzie went ahead Mary turned awkwardly to Ferdinand.

"Thank you for the ride," she thanked humbly and made to leave.

"Mr. Fryar is not a man I had pictured you to marry," Ferdinand spoke up and Mary stopped her tracks. She turned to him calmly.

"Well, he's a nice man and we will have a nice life together," she informed confidently. Ferdinand smiled at her lightly and shook his head.

"Where did the honesty go? I thought you and I could be honest with each other," he looked her in the eyes seriously.

"It died when propriety entered the picture," she replied sadly.

"Miss Racat," Ferdinand supplied almost tiredly. "But she is no longer," he looked at Mary.

"But Mr. Fryar is," she informed.

"Be honest, Marie," he asked her gravely and Mary let out a steam of air.

"What do you want me to say?" Mary let her hands drops to her sides tiredly, "I'm not allowed to throw this away… And Mr. Fryar can provide me with at least some intellect."

"Hardly," Ferdinand cut in and Mary let her eyes fall to the ground.

"I don't have a choice," Mary said and Ferdinand nodded quietly.

After a few seconds of silence Ferdinand said, "I must go. May you have a lovely day," he bowed to her and bid her farewell before he took off. Mary looked after him, unable to understand what a horrid ending they'd gotten.

"Come, Mary! I must see what you've gotten!" Kitty called from an open window. Mary looked upwards and nodded and then made her way inside, barely able to think of anything else but Ferdinand. Scenarios of a better ending were running through her head, but she could hardly run after him and ask him to do it again.

Mary spent the next few hours playing dress up for Kitty to see before dinner was served. However, barely had they taken a seat before an unexpected visitor arrived.

"Mr. Fryar! What a pleasure to see you!" Mrs. Bennet beamed as Mr. Fryar entered. He bowed respectfully towards them all.

"Will you join us for dinner?" Lizzie politely asked him.

"My dear Mrs. Darcy I would have I not urgent matters to speak with Miss Mary. May I lend her for a little while?" He looked at Mary who stood, although frowning.

"We'll be in the sitting room," Mary said and she then led the way to the sitting room where Mr. Fryar and she could talk undisturbed.

"Mr. Fryar? How may I help you at this hour?" Mary asked upon them having sat down.

"Miss Mary, believe me when I say that I care about your deeply," Mr. Fryar stood, restlessly fingering his hat. "While I would never do anything for money urgent matters have come to my attention that has left me with little other choice," he turned to her more seriously. "I had a visitor today, Miss Mary, who gave me a very generous price if I let you off our engagement."

"I don't understand," Mary said, confused. Her heart was pumping with the implication that she might be free on the marked once more and with chance to end up alone.

"I, of course, told him that we love each other, but he, Miss Mary, told me to ask you if you honestly wish to be married with me, if not he would pay me a generous price to let you off," Mr. Fryar looked once more serious and slightly hopefully at Mary. Silence reigned for a brief moment, "do you want to marry me?" Mary looked at him sharply by the question. She stared at him for minutes, contemplating what he had asked.

Slowly, she said, "Mr. Fryar, I believe you competent at making me a very happy woman," Mr. Fryar smiled happily, but Mary held up a hand to stop him, "happy, yes, but it would be with the possibilities you can provide me with, not with your love. You're a very nice man, but I cannot deny that I feel more friendship than anything else," Mr. Fryar looked onto the floor.

"I see," he said slowly. "I see," he repeated. "I do not wish you to keep you in an engagement you do not wish to be in. Especially not when you have someone else asking for your hand, someone you love."

"Pardon?" Mary asked confused.

"My visitor was Marquess Von Thesen and he informed me about the complications of your relationship and asked me for your hand instead of mine for a generous price. I did not wish to accept had he not assured me that you were not happy with the engagement with me." Mary looked at him shocked and then promptly fainted.

* * *

Please review :D


	16. a proposal

**thanks to my Beta Dark Rose hope you enjoy it

* * *

****Chapter 16 – a proposal**

"Mary? Mary, wake up! Lizzie, do you have some smelling salt?" Mrs. Bennet's voice sounded from somewhere.

"That is no necessary, Mrs. Bennet," Mr. Bennet spoke as Mary groaned and opened her eyes with a flutter.

"Wh-?" Mary tried to ask, her senses having yet to come back to her fully. Before she knew it, a glass was tipped by her mouth, allowing her water.

"Mary? Whatever happened?" Lizzie asked concerned as Mary sat up more upright.

"Mary? What happened between you and Mr. Fryar? He looked quite upset," Mr. Bennet asked with an edge, making Mary wince as she tried to recall the last moments before she fainted.

"Father! Please, do not be so harsh. I am sure they did not break off the engagement," Lizzie gave her father a disapproving glance and Mary bolted up.

"The engagement!" Mary gasped remembering that she had been lifted from it.

"Mary?" Mr. Bennet called sternly and Mary turned towards him. "Is that why Mr. Fryar looked so upset when he left?" Mary slipped into the chair completely unable to talk.

"I-" she said.

"I might be able to explain things better," a voice said from the entrance and all looked up.

"Marquess Von Thesen?" Mr. Darcy spoke with surprise.

"I am sorry to intrude, but I feel I must for I am the one to ask Mr. Fryar to let Mary off the engagement," he looked almost mournful as he stepped further into the room.

"Why on earth you would do that?" Mrs. Bennet hissed by the thought of her daughter no longer to be married.

"Because Miss Bennet was no happy with the arrangement," Marquess Von Thesen stated simply as his eyes met with Mary's.

"And who are you to judge? I know what is best for my daughter," Mr. Bennet dared to speak up.

"I know, Mr. Bennet. And I would not have done it without reason," Ferdinand spoke calmly.

"What is you reason?" Lizzie almost anxiously asked. There was a heavy pause as Ferdinand took a deep breath and let it out in a steady stream to calm down.

"The moment Mary spoke to me my life changed. I have been in love with her ever since. I managed to break out of my engagement only to find out she was then engaged. However, I knew Mr. Fryar and I knew Mary to not desire him," He locked eyes with Mary as he walked towards her steadily. "I love her deeply with all my heart and so I asked Mr. Fryar to lift the engagement so Mary could be mine." Silence followed this little speech.

"That is," Ferdinand took on last step before he fell to his knees, "if she will have me?"

"Of course I will have you! I've wanted you since—since," Mary became silent and hugged Ferdinand tightly.

"But- you hardly know each other!" Jane spoke up, shocked.

"I think, Mrs. Bingley, if I am not mistaken, Miss Mary and the Marquess has known each other for longer than what they've let on," Mr. Darcy looked pointedly at Mary, who looked slightly out of place as all eyes turned to her.

"We met in the bookstore," Mary admitted.

"Oh! How romantic!" Kitty spoke up dreamily and giggled with Mrs. Bennet, who suddenly realised that her daughter was indeed getting married!

"This is so exiting! Let us retire to somewhere where we can get some tea!" Mrs. Bennet ordered ecstatically and walked ahead with Lizzie. Mr. Bennet politely gestured the Marquess to follow after Lizzie and Mrs. Bennet and Mary noted he was not really sure of what to say. His eyes had a strange tinge to them and she slowed down to ask him about it.

"Papa?" She questioned quietly. "You do not look well," she stated.

"I cannot say no to a man of his position, same had been in Lizzie's case with Mr. Darcy," he looked at her strangely, "but know that I do not like how this started. Had he not come for you, you'd have a secret story of deceit. I am ashamed that a daughter of mine has behaved so recklessly and so freely. What if someone found out? The reputation you'd have!" Mary stopped abruptly and Mr. Bennet moved ahead, without noticing. She stood there for a minute or two, barely able to overcome her shock.

Eventually Mary managed to gain control over her body and she moved on to be with the others. Ferdinand was looking polite, but also slightly out of place and nervous. He did, however, calm down upon seeing her.

The following minutes was spent with the family asking questions and Ferdinand nor Mary answering them. Ferdinand, seeing that Mary had no desire for her family right now, rose politely and asked for a moment alone with her.

"Are you well, Mary?" He questioned as they moved through the halls to get to another wing of privacy.

"Not at all," Mary admitted and then tears started flowing and Frederic took her in his arms to calm her. "I hate him," she whispered frantically between sobs. "He always ruins my happiness. And if not you had been rich my mother would've too," she held tighter to Frederic.

"What happened? What did he say?" Frederic seized her chin and forced her to look into his eyes.

"He just mentioned that I was a disgrace to step out of the social boundaries," she muttered. "That while he could not oppose to you he did not like the idea of how things had proceeded," she hiccupped with sobs before ending with a sad sigh.

"Let's get you away from them then," he smiled suddenly mischievously, "my little Marie," he caressed her chin and she looked at him confused.

"What do you mean?" She asked just before he grasped her hand and dragged her towards the room they had just come from. They entered modestly, Mary slightly crying slightly, which made Jane and Lizzie stand up.

"Oh Mary, are you-"Jane spoke up, but Frederic put up a hand to prevent her from anything further.

"Mary and I will leave now, we have a lot to do," Frederic spoke up.

"What? It's late," Mrs. Bennet spoke up and Frederic shook his head.

"Ahh, but we have a wedding to plan," Frederic announced and Mary looked up at him with a teary grin.

"But Marquess Von Thesen, I am sure we can use some of what has already been done," Mrs. Bennet spoke up.

"This is OUR wedding," Mary spoke, "it will be ours to plan, not yours, mama!" Mary said, stressing on 'yours' as she looked pointedly at her mother. Relief flooded through her as she said this.

"We've spent much money on this already," Mr. Bennet spoke up coldly and Frederic simply waved him off.

"I shall pay, of course, for what you have lost, and a little extra," Frederic said, and Mary mused 'just to shut them up' and Mary knew he meant it too.

"But-" Mrs. Bennet said, not knowing what to say.

"Mr. Bennet, it was nice meeting you, all of you," Frederic spoke as bowed towards Mr. Bennet, "now I must take away my fiancée to talk about the details."

"We'll be in the west parlour," Mary spoke and left with Frederic. They arrived in the west parlour where they excitedly grasped paper and pens so they could write down everything. Not soon after, Anna, an elderly maid in the household of Darcy, entered and sat in a chair in the farthest corner. Neither opposed, knowing that the family just wanted to be sure.

The night was spent whispering ideas to each other. First Mary had been apprehensive, but when Frederic had assured her that he'd pay for everything things went more smoothly. She spent much time telling more about how the last days had been with Mr. Fryar and enjoyed knowing that she could decide for herself now. By the time it was 5 in the morning Mary and Anna followed Frederic to the door and then Mary went to her room to sleep. They had decided, slightly late, that it would be best to go to sleep, for while they had a wedding to plan there was one thing that was more important: meeting THE Marquess Von Thesen and his wife along with Frederic's sister. She was anxious, but had calmed down upon having been told that he'd NEVER leave her no matter what his family said. He also assured her that the only one who did not care much for the idea was, mainly due to the fiancée he had left for Mary's sake and not knowing much about what was going on.

She was scheduled to meet his family around lunch and she was not sure how things would turn out. The only thing that calmed her was knowing that Frederic would be there.

* * *

**I had a slightly problematic time trying to make this chapter. A lot happens and I wanted it to be somewhat realistic. The feeligns and thoughts and reactions, but I hope you enjoyed it. Please review. Thank you :)**


	17. slightly chaotic

**thanks to my Beta Dark Rose hope you enjoy it!****

* * *

**

Chapter 17 – slightly chaotic

Despite having been up till five o'clock Mary awoke around the time as everyone else did. It took her a few minutes to realise that what had happened the day before was indeed not a dream, but quite real. Having discovered that, she bounced out of her bed in a state of absolute bliss and excitement. She combed her hair while she danced around her room, unable to contain her happiness. She had just gotten on her usual dress when her mood faltered and her steps slowed. She stopped. Frederic. Frederic's family. She had agreed to meet his family. She slumped onto her bed in a mild state if shock. How was she going to survive them? One thing was Ferdinand's love, but that would hardly help her impress them. She had never had to impress anyone, and never had anyone ever impressed her. While Ferdinand had assured her that his family's consent was of little matter Mary had no interest in destroying whatever family harmony he had. Not only that, but she found she had an inner need to be on good terms with his family. But how could she ever be considered worthy of a Marquess?

By the time breakfast was ready Mary had upset herself so much that she considered asking her family for help. However, as she neared the breakfast parlour she remembered their feud and she resolved to handle it alone. She felt only the tiniest regret for what she had said to her mama, but was on the other hand quite satisfied that she had been able to stand up for herself for once.

The air in the parlour was mixed. Mr. Darcy was talking with Mr. Bingley and Lizzie with Jane. Kitty was quiet and so were Mr. and Mrs. Bennet. The two latter were ignoring Mary, although Mrs. Bennet's eager and interest in her daughter's marriage seemed to soon take over and Mary was sure that it would not be long before Mrs. Bennet could not longer contain herself.

And Mary was right, "Mary, my dear," Mrs. Bennet said with great effort as she slowly put down her fork and gathered her hands neatly in her lap to show that she was being civilised. Mary, who had lost all interest in pretend, laid down her own fork and met her mother's steady gaze.

"Yes, Mama?" Mary asked with flawless patience and politeness.

"I do believe that it would be wise to let some of us more experienced people help you with the wedding. There is quite a lot to do," she said and ended with a tinge of knowledge.

"Mama, you've only been married once yourself, you can hardly call that experience," Mary said calmly and with an edge of disinterest. A clatter sounded as Mr. Bennet put down his fork, but he said nothing.

"But… I am sure Lizzie and Jane would love to provide with the information you need," Mrs. Bennet tried and although she did not say it, it was clear that she included herself too.

"I thank you, and Lizzie and Jane are most welcome to give input, but it is my wedding and it is I who has the final decision. As long as you respect that I shall have no qualms about listening to your suggestions. Of course, keeping in mind that I can discard them with or without reason," Mary picked up her glass and sipped. Her voice was calm, but she had made it perfectly clear that it was her wedding and no one should try to persuade her into anything. Mrs. Bennet said nothing further, except a small "hmpf" and the breakfast continued without much further talk.

"Mary, might we have a word," Jane asked as Mary made to leave the breakfast parlour. Mary nodded and the two sisters rose from their seat and followed Mary out of the parlour.

"It pains me, dear sister, for this must truly be a hard time for you," Lizzie said as they made their way to a small lounge. Mary said nothing. "Know this, Jane and I are on your side. Papa is only angry because he knew not how you had met the Marquess. It worried him that you met him in secret, for you brought your safety in danger," Lizzie reasoned as their sat down.

"Please, Lizzie," Mary said, her eyes downcast, "papa told me what he thought. I am sick of being bound to this place. I am sick of having no one to believe in me. All my life everyone just expected me to become a spinster! All my life people have patronised me! Mocked me! My entire being and my mind! Never have I been good enough! I have not your beauty, Jane; nor yours Lizzie! Nor do I have Kitty and Lydia's spirit! I ended up hiding behind books, unable to communicate with my family, mother too senseless and my father simply uninterested in acknowledging me as an equal," Mary ranted.

"I might not be a man, Lizzie" Mary said, "but if father adores your mind, why does he not adore mine? What makes us so different? Is it because you've proven that even though you've been charmed you had the sense to say no? Does he believe that I would, if a man had asked me, run away like Lydia? What should I prove for him to love me?" By this time tears were falling rapidly and Jane and Lizzie sat with bended heads, saddened by the truth.

"Mother always criticised me! Always focused on getting everyone else married but me. Why should she? To her I was a lost case, wasn't I? Wasn't I?" Mary yelled and paced in frustration.

"Don't try to hold your hands over them, Lizzie, don't you dare!" Mary fell to the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. Jane moved over and held around her sister, looking at Lizzie with understanding and realisation.

"It shan't be like that again, Mary," Jane whispered, "Lizzie and I knew not how you had felt. We shall not take you for granted anymore!" Jane started crying too and soon Lizzie joined them and all three sat on the floor, holding each other and crying agitatedly. After they had gotten someone control over themselves Mary indulged Lizzie and Jane in the story about her and Frederic. It soon became clear that the two sisters were in deep awe of how true the relationship was and how right it had been to step out of bounds.

Mary also confessed that she had a dinner date later that afternoon with Frederic and his family and that she was scared.

"Well, we shall make them adore you!" Lizzie grinned mischievously and pulled Mary and Jane to their feet.

"Oh please, Lizzie, I doubt I could even impress them were I looking like a goddess! I am far too anxious and I will most likely behave foolishly! I wish you could join me!" Mary said in worry and her eyes lit up. "Oh please! I shall send an urgent note to Frederic about your coming! Please! I beg of you!" Mary begged and Jane and Lizzie consented. Not a minute later a message boy had been urgently sent off towards the Von Thesen household with the message of two additional guests joining.

Lizzie and Jane took Mary under their careful wings as they guided her in how to behave. Their most urgent need was to make Mary open up, for when she felt pressed she tended to hide in her self, and in this case it would do her little good. They also selected some clothes that softened Mary's character and made her look less bookish and more womanly. Jane and Lizzie knew that it would be best if Mary stuck to her true self as much as she could, for it would do little good to create an untrue image of her. So, instead their merely polished their sister, advised her on what topics were clever to enter and what topics that were unsuitable until she knew his family better. They also advised her to stay as neutral as possible if she wanted to befriend Frederic's family. If she stated her opinions too openly the family might not approve, and especially if they did not share the same view.

It all made Mary feel as if she was walking on the edge of a knife, disaster all around her, just waiting for her to muck up.

Mary had been informed that she was allowed to bring her two sisters and as the time neared luncheon, which was scheduled to half past one, the three sisters, all very richly clad, entered the carriage that would take them to the Von Thesen Estate. Lizzie, who was rarely seen in her wifely clothes, had chosen the look for the occasion to bring honour to her husband and the name of Darcy and yet still held some decent fashion sense. Jane, too, wore fashionable clothes, though hers were of lighter colours that hinted her growing belly proudly. Mary wore simple clothes again; although, to compliment her dark hair, the two sisters had chosen a richly blue dress the hugged her breasts, belly and arms nicely and then loosened from her hips and down. To tribute her hair the sisters had found a beautiful hair slide in crème white that held her hair and stood out nicely amidst her dark curls.

The carriage neared the estate and though Mary recalled it to be beautiful it now loomed dangerously in front of her, unfriendly and suspicious. A man servant opened the door for them as they arrived and Jane and Lizzie stepped out first to play their role as guardians of Mary. At last she stepped out and took her place between her sisters, who kept barely one pace behind Mary to keep her in her rightful spotlight. Jane whispered words of comfort as they ascended the staircase, reminding Mary of the rhyme she should say in her own mind to keep her calm.

"Mrs Darcy, Mrs Bingley… Mary," Frederic greeted; his eyes on Mary at all times. Mary could not help a red tinge stain her cheeks and she looked onto the ground to calm herself down.

"Good evening, Mr. Von Thesen," Jane spoke up, being the matron of the three.

"Might I introduce my family," Frederic turned to his family, "Mr. Richard Von Thesen, Mrs. Ida Von Thesen and Miss Anna Von Thesen," they all greeted politely. "Father, mother, and of course Anna," Frederic spoke up importantly, "this is Mary, my fiancé," Lizzie gently stepped back along with Jane to focus on Mary who smiled tightly.

"Good evening, Mr and Mrs. Von Thesen, Miss Von Thesen," Mary curtsied politely. For a moment there was no one speaking and Mary felt as if she had done something wrong.

"We're so glad to finally meet you, Miss Bennet!" Mrs. Von Thesen spoke up in a friendly, "come, let us retreat to the dining room, I believe we're a little behind schedule," she smiled and then walked up to Mary and took her arm. "Frederic's been so secretive about all of this! Suddenly he just tells us he's getting married!" Mrs. Von Thesen laughed richly and Mary felt more at ease.

"Of course, there's a chance he might just dump her like he did with the last," Mr. Von Thesen said coldly and glared at his son, who narrowed his eyes.

"Oh Richard! Do be nice! I am sure you know that he only did it to be with this young lady! Besides, I'd like to have seen your face had Frederic married her despite everyone knowing his heart belonged somewhere else!" Mrs. Von Thesen coldly and then lowered her voice, "Richard believes in honest love, so I am quite sure he prefers how things are now instead of having Frederic married to that other woman," she giggled and Mary followed suit, although hesitant.

Mary locked herself in her room when she came back and fell onto her bed. Tonight had been a good night. Mr. Von Thesen had been somewhat apprehensive, but her two sisters had done wonderful at reading his character and realised that he might even find Mary a bit interesting. So they had opened up a few conversations which Mary adored and she had lost herself in explaining, criticising, forgetting her manners. For a moment they had been worried when Mr. Von Thesen had objected to her views, but realised he was smiling mildly, enjoying Mary's freshness and boldness. The only person she had trouble with was the sister, whom Mary had not spoken with much and who she felt awkward with. Lizzie assured her it would pass.

It was arranged, by Lizzie, since she was the host of the family through the summer, that they would throw a small engagement ball to celebrate Mary and Frederic. That way the families could meet properly. Mary begged Frederic to warn his family before hand about her mother and father, and with a light-hearted smile he agreed and then politely kissed her hand goodnight.

* * *

U might find the story moving on a bit quick now, but I am nearing the end and while there are lots of things to be written there are also lots of things that hardly matters to the story. please review. 


	18. a little of each

**- Thx to beta, Ranned 3**

**Chapter 18 – a little of each**

The making of the engagement ball turned out to give more problems than first assumed. While the families were intended to, indeed, mingle and become acquainted with each other(,) Lizzie, Jane and Mary soon realised that it would have to be under strict surveillance. While there would be many other guests at the ball none would share table with neither the Bennets nor the Von Thesens, as those families would be sitting together.

Mr. Bennet could behave, and as such there were little problems putting him next to Mr. Von Thesen, who would in turn sit next to Frederic and Mary. Next to Mr. Bennet would Mr. Bingley sit and then Jane, occupying Mrs. Bennet who would then sit by Jane. On Mary's other side Miss Von Thesen, Frederic's sister, would sit, and then Mrs. Von Thesen along with Lizzie, Mr. Darcy, Kitty and then Lydia, who'd end up by Mrs. Bennet's side, completing the circle.

"The highlights are to keep mama out of conversations and Lydia away from Frederic's sister," Mary noted…

However, despite having the seating in order Mary was still anxious. And not just because this was an engagement ball – _her_ engagement ball - but because she trusted her mother so very well to find it silly that she could not talk with her new family. The idea of Mrs. Bennet suddenly talking about rich men would be disastrous. Mary shivered at the mere thought of the Von Thesen family assuming her for a gold digger! To top it the thought of Lydia would somehow appeal to Anna's wild side and turn her into someone less cultivated and mannered was horrible and most worrisome!

Slowly the days passed leading to the date of the Ball. As it progressed Mary was getting more and more edgy and only Jane and Lizzie were able to be near her without her snapping. Kitty had long abandoned interest in being near Mary since Mary had nearly bit her head off when Kitty had uttered romantic quotes that suited Mary and Frederic. Not only that, but she kept herself busy writing to Lydia, who was eager to come to the Darcy Estate to attend the ball.

The family was all in all calming down since the engagement and slowly the days became normal. While Mr. Bennet did not direct his speech to Mary, he often did not avoid her either. The only one who seemed restless was Mrs. Bennet who was trying to be affronted by Mary's assaults and trying to desperately join her daughters in the planning. She gave a few hints, and while some of them were good, Mary simply discarded them in an uninterested way, although, if her sisters noted the point of the idea later on in privacy Mary would agree to take it up.

Only a week before the ball Lydia came, without her husband once again. She looked thinner than Mary remembered, and it turned out she had not been the only one to notice. Soon Lydia was under strict order to treat the Darcy Estate as her own, which included eating as much as possible as well.

"Why Mary! I had never guessed you to ever marry!" Lydia spoke up at luncheon one Sunday afternoon, same day she had arrived. Mary, stressed and easy to upset, forced herself not to get angered and instead went over her mental mantra, which was something about Lydia being stupid and ignorant and with a low life husband. She had nothing better to do than to annoy other people.

"Marry me Mary," Lydia laughed teasingly and Kitty giggled as well. "Did he say that, Mary?" Lydia looked at Mary intently and Mary laid down the fork. A look from her sisters warned her off the warrior path and she calmed down.

"No," Mary said politely, deciding that she had to be nice to her sister. "It happened quite differently, slightly more chaotic," she admitted and Lydia's eyes gleamed with excitement as Mary launched into a story of how it all happened. It turned out that Mary quite enjoyed the attention her two younger sisters now gave her, and she took her chances to bask in it a bit, enjoying the feeling of admiration from her sisters, something that had always been the other way around.

Barely a day before the ball one of the maids of the Darcy Estate came to Mary: "Miss Mary, Mr. Bennet wishes to see you in the tea parlour," she informed and left Mary to gather her nerves. Previously she had been writing a letter to her dear fiancée, responding to his tease about scandals, scoundrels and gossip that would soon be cause by their union. The public was no yet informed about their upcoming wedding, and while there were speculations nothing had been confirmed before the ball.

Slowly and steadily she rose from her seat and made towards the parlour where her father awaited. Sometimes she wondered how Mr. Darcy managed to go on, since the Bennets had practically taken his home, but Lizzie had told that while Darcy had found it slightly tiring he had been overjoyed by the fact that the Bennet family now had another member married off to the good society.

While that may have sounded superficial and unlike Darcy to think that way, it was merely meant that Darcy was pleased that Mary would be married to someone she loved and not someone whom she only had to marry for money.

In the parlour tea was set for two and Mr. Bennet rose by the sight of his daughter. His hands fumbled a bit, before he gestured for her to take a seat. Slow and uncertain, she did.

"Mary," Mr. Bennet spoke up as a maid poured the tea. "Soon you shall be married. The ball is tomorrow and just 6 days later you shall be married off to the Marquess," he let the sentence linger and Mary briefly wondered if she should say something; and if that was the case, what?

But she needn't have worried, for Mr. Bennet continued, "I am sorry, my dear child," his tired gaze met hers and she had the feeling that he sought not for pity or apologies, but merely understanding. "I know I have not been the best father in the world. There are many things that I could have done to improve my daughters' welfare, but as a member of society I chose the easy one," Mr. Bennet rose from his seat.

"I chose the one that would make me look good, make my family look good. Without even thinking of how we'd look inside," he turned to her. "In a way it must have been a good thing, for it suppressed you in a sense that made you want to break free later on, but how could I have known? I did not," he slowly went on.

"I did not, but I know now that suppressing you, and your sisters, were not the right thing." Silence ensued and Mary felt inclined to move a bit to make herself comfortable.

"You, Mary, made me realise that," Mr. Bennet continued. "You made me see that being true and honest, with certain limits, good things can and will come. You are not the girl to run off, like Lydia, and as such no harm should be done. Nor are you one to come up with lies. You are simply true, and bold, but with limits that are… well true," he laughed lightly at his own ramblings.

"I seek not your forgiveness, Mary, for I realise that I have not been the father I could have been. But I wish for you to know that I have never in my life been so proud of a daughter as I am right now. You have taken society, not the other way around. It shows courage and intellect and I know the Marquess will never be bored with a wife like you."

Mary rose from her seat and hugged her father. The recognition she had always called out for had come, tenfold and more true that anything anyone had ever told her. It came from the heart and for the first time Mary feared not what combining her family with Frederic would do, but was pleased that her father would be there.

Her only worry was now her mother and two younger sisters. She had some cunning plans made out that would ensure their occupation for most of the night.

However, little did she know that her family was about to surprise her and that her plans would be wasted.


	19. a happy ending

**Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeell... this chappie concludes my story. Never meant for it to get so long, so sorry. I apologise if people do not like the ending. It's rather short, but I thought it was best to leave it at that and not get into their life after marriage. Or their wedding.**

**

* * *

Chapter 19 – a happy ending**

The guests were arriving faster than Mary would've liked. She prayed time would stop and allow her some more time to prepare herself, but her wish was not granted. Instead she wrung her hands while staring out at the window down at the entrance where carriages where dropping the guests off.

"Mary, please, you will ruin your looks!" Lizzie tried to calm Mary.

"They're already ruined! Oh sister! How many shall wonder how Frederic couldn't possibly fall for a misfit such as I!" Mary cried out, tears starting to fall in her desperation.

"There, there," Jane spoke up, her calm voice lulling Mary's nerves a bit. "My dear sister, when did you become so interested in what other people think you?"

"I do not!" Mary responded tiredly.

"Then do not let them worry you now," reasoned Jane calmly. "Frederic chose you. He wants you. His family approves of you. Is there anyone else whose approval you desperately need in order to calm down?"

"Oh Jane! How right you are! I wish I could be still, but I cannot! The mere thought of tonight worries me," Mary replied in worry. "I worry that I will act silly in the presence of so many influential people. I worry that mama, Lydia and Kitty will make fool of me! Alas, should I not do it myself first!" Mary stood still as Jane corrected her hair.

"There shall be one good thing coming from it then," laughed Lizzie and Mary looked at her questioningly. "My dear, I cannot say how many times people have commented on Jane's or mine family, speaking that it were a luck that were got out with a scratch," both Jane and Lizzie laughed.

"Yes," Jane smiled, "the damage they can do is primarily before an engagement. However, tonight we promise you people will commence you on how well and normal you are unlike your family," Jane giggled.

"How rude… in a way," Mary commented, but smiled, "I am glad, nonetheless! It makes it at least a bit bearable," she smiled at her sister.

A knock sounded and Lizzie called for enter.

"All guests have arrived, Mrs. Darcy," a maid informed and then politely left them again.

"Do not fear, dear sister. We're here to help," Lizzie promised and then hugged Mary and then Jane hugged her.

Outside the ballroom Mary and Lizzie met with Mr. Darcy and Frederic. Jane moved into the ballroom alone, leaving the last four to themselves. Mary and Frederic greeted each other hesitantly, though it was clear that they wanted more than just the light peck on the hand Frederic gave her. Lizzie and Mr. Darcy would accompany them into the ballroom as they were hosts, and so their engagement ball began.

Most of the night was spent away from Frederic, though both sent longing glances towards each other to mark their love and to make sure they knew where the other part was. Mary, who feared that she'd make a fool out of herself was pleased to see that Lizzie or Jane was always near if she landed in a group of people who were too much for her.

"I spoke to your mother just before," an elderly lady spoke up and Mary found herself having trouble at breathing. Even Lizzie seemed slightly anxious.

"Oh? Yes… my mother... glad you met her!" Mary forced out.

"She told me you play the piano and have always done so! And that you play too beautiful to describe! I must hear if someday! I insist!" Mary stared at the woman and nodded numbly before Lizzie dragged her along.

"Mother told her that?" Mary whispered shocked to Lizzie who nodded worried.

"Father told them to behave and speak of only good," Lizzie explained, "I had no idea they… well," Lizzie mumbled.

"I know I'm a good player, but no need to exaggerate," Mary muttered and Lizzie nodded. It was true. Mary had never received piano lessons and as such her playing was harsh and cold unlike one who knew how to put they're souls into the piece at the right time.

"Nevertheless, a nice consideration," Lizzie pointed out quietly.

Most people had heard of her talents and when Mary caught her mother's eyes at time she's send off a huge smile and Mary could not help but smile back. Exaggerating was certainly not the best option, but it was better than the alternative, and it seemed her family tried to behave; if only for one night. It made her happy to know that they tried.

"Come with me," a voice whispered and someone grasped her hand. Frederic led her quietly towards the exit and they hurried outside, laughing at themselves and their happiness.

"Where are you taking me?" Whispered Mary and Frederic turned and smiled her at her.

He halted by the lake where he made her sit down on a bench with him.

"I love you so much," he whispered and let his fingers caress her face. She smiled and leaned into his hand to show her own love. They embraced and he kissed her forehead. Mary smiled. They stayed wrapped in each others arms till the night, agreeing without words that their wedding should be moved forward.

The End

* * *

**Sappy... oh well hope you enjoyed it!**


End file.
